This, from the HEART!!

Betty_Hiner · May 31, 2012, 1:05pm

Far be it for me to just go ahead and post something without asking permission, although this time I did (ask, that is!!)! Please read this honest, true to life note.

Kevin Proctor
Well, I am home. Home oxygen has been delivered, I’ve had dinner and a Wild Cherry Diet Pepsi. The dog is satisfied that Daddy is home and not lost someplace. The rod got picked up and paid for. And last but far from least, the Rockies are winning.

I have had 4 of 10 radiation treatments. Once those are finished, there will be a short rest and I get into chemo.

Ray, Don, Brad, and any others that smoke, I beg of you to stop now. I can not bear the thought of you going through what I am going through. Look! I quit 7 years ago! That was supposed to fix this but you need to quit sooner than I did.

Let me describe life with this for a bit. First, the fear. Stage 4 Cancer. I don’t care how you frame that, it is damn scary. I can push if back for a bit but it is always back there looking for a way to sneak back out.

This can’t be cut out. I have many small tumors in my right lung that want to block the air passages. The lung filled with fluid and partially collapsed. It was just a very heavy, soggy lump to carry around that was doing me more harm than good. But… It’s mine and I’m stuck with it.

Now for the treatments. What are those high power x-rays doing to the healthy tissue they have to pass through to get to the tumors? (Yes, more than one) They leave you sore and you tell they are working because you get wheezy and rattly but can’t really cough it loose. One day the treatment isn’t too bad. The next, it will drain every ounce of strength you have and it is all you can do is stay awake to spend time with those you love. Talking can be difficult. I go from not needing oxygen at all while sitting to needing 3 liters per minute in a heartbeat and a half. I can’t sit back and breathe to relax in my recliner. Or maybe I can. Do I want to try? Will it hurt?

I have no idea what the chemo is going to be like but I hear it’s worse.

So prove to me you are smarter than I was and quit NOW. Save yourself this crap. I guarantee it is no fun at all.

system · May 31, 2012, 2:21pm

Nice post Kevin. My wife, Dr. and children, including my Granddaughter have been hounding me for ever. And me with my low threshold for pain(I’m like a big baby) this does not sound fun. Thank You Kevin, very heart felt. I think once this carton is gone, I will give it a shot. My wife is trying to find a good hypnotist to see if that works. I know it sounds obsurb but it truly does work. My dad had it done after smoking four packs of Camels aday to not smoking at all. My brother who has HEP-C has to take home shots of introfuron to keep it suppressed. Stay well and comfortable my friend

TyroneFly · May 31, 2012, 2:46pm

Thank you Betty for posting this. We all should take Kevin’s words to heart. Not just about quitting smoking, but for any bad habits we have.

I have a good friend who went to his doctor about a little sore on his lip that would not heal. It turned out to be cancer. He is now going through the same treatments as Kevin. He has good days and bad days, but having two young sons makes him determined to get through it. He makes every effort to make all days good days and lives each moment like it might be his last. I am glad to say the treatments are nearly completed and he has renewed hope in seeing his boys grow up to be men.

Hang in there Kevin. I (we) are pulling for you and pray that the cancer will be put into remission or completely destroyed so you can live a full life.

Paddy80701 · May 31, 2012, 3:30pm

As maybe another small incentive to quit smoking ( thanks for the description, Kevin ) here is a seldom related fact. Not everyone that smokes gets Lung Cancer, I think the odds are one in five for 20 pack year smokers. However, everyone ( thats all !) who smoke more than 10 pack years gets emphysema! Thats another disease where you slowly suffocate and are too short of breath to fish above 5000 feet without oxygen. I speak from authority as a retired Family Physician with 42 years of practice, and also as a former smoker who now carries oxygen in the back of his vest when fishing mountain streams. Neighbor Kevin, our thoughts and prayers are with you, remember to put your trust in the great Fisherman in the Sky !

LadyFisher · May 31, 2012, 7:11pm

I’ve said this before, I needed surgery on my right shoulder. The doctor said he would NOT operate if I was still smoking, it makes healing very difficult. My doctor gave me a sample package of Chantrix. It worked. No problems, I didn’t even need to have the prescription filled, the sample pack was enough. It has been 6 years now I think.

branhap · May 31, 2012, 9:03pm

Smoking literally choked my grandmother to death. A very fast growing cancerous tumor came up in her neck and actually cut off her airway, just as if a hand was choking her.

So if you smoke, please stop today! My father used to smoke, and my Mom gave him an ultimatum when she was pregnant with me. You can smoke or be with your son, but not both. Thankfully he chose to quick smoking.

Uncle_Jesse · May 31, 2012, 10:15pm

If tobacco wasn’t bad enough, how about we spray it with some nasty sounding chemicals and chopped them up with the tobacco, you go ahead and set it all on fire and draw the fumes from the chemicals along with the smoke from the tobacco deep down into your lungs. Or you could just go set down wind from a toxic waste dump and inhale those fumes. These are the chemicals sprayed on tobacco by the farmers. They are the reason Amish smoker have a significantly lower cancer rate.

kbproctor · June 2, 2012, 1:52am

The hardest part of quitting for me was discovering my pivotal reason to quit. I held Dad’s hand as he choked to death from end stage emphysema and continued to smoke for another ten years. Not one of my brighter decisions. However, once I found my reason to quit, it was easy in comparison to all the other times I “tried” to quit.

After today’s treatment, I was completely wiped out. The techs had remapped things a bit and hit me hard. Thank God I have the weekend to rest up for the next treatment Monday. On the bright side, after a nap, an oxicodone, and a fantastic dinner that had lots of fruit and other good stuff, I am feeling almost human again. Of course that glass of chocolate milk the boss surprised me with didn’t hurt my spirits much. She is spoiling me something awful and I am enjoying it but it woud be a lot more fun without the cancer.

Kids and grandkids should be all the reason you need to stop. You can not tell them not to smoke if you are smoking. It is just as simple as that. If you smoke, they will. Your example will be responsible for their health. How’s that for a guilt trip?

Lotech · June 2, 2012, 11:16am

My wife and I quit smoking March 15th 1998. I had been an (at least) pack a day smoker for over 35 years. I finally got up to 3 1/2 packs a day when I quit. We used Zyban which was prescribed by our doctor. It’s one of the GOOD drugs. It was invented to settle the emotions of institutionalized manic depressives. As a side benefit to the research of Zyban, they found that about 2/3 of the patients who took it, quit smoking without even thinking about it. So, it was used and marketed as a “Quit Smoking” drug. And it really does work, as does Chantix I’m told. Everyone who smokes, should really want to quit, and it’s so easy now days there’s just no reason they should smoke. When I was in the Army I could buy a carton of cigarettes for $1.90, and now I hear they’re up to almost $7.00 a pack. The cost of tobacco alone should be motivation to quit. Think what you could do with the cash it takes to support a $7.00+ a day habit in your pocket instead.
God bless you Kevin, with the strength and endurance to get past this thing. You are in my thoughts and prayers daily.