We’ve had numerous people over the years that I’ve been on FAOL, who are new to the sport, have lost everything, teach classes, etc., that you send things to, and never hear from again. Is there a way of screening these people so as not to get repeatedly burnt? I thoroughly enjoy helping people get a good start, and don’t want to stop, but how can we check them out better? Open to ideas!
Trouts don’t live in ugly places
Hi Betty,
Good question. We’ve got a great bunch
of caring folks here. Often someone will
pass on gear that might help out a beginner
or someone down on thier luck. I’ve sent
a number of items out over the years that
range from vises to reels and lines. I have
yet to hear from any of the recipients.
They just seem to fade away.G I don’t
know what the answer is. Are we gaining a
rep as a soft touch?G Not sure. Maybe
it’s like the old hobo markings on the curb
for an easy touch.G Had this same
conversation with another FAOLER earlier in
the week. No answers, only more questions.
I guess the bottom line is, go with your
heart. I’d rather get burned twice than to
pass up an opportunity to help one sincere
beginner. Warm regards, Jim
Betty, Good questions! Recently I got an e mail from a fellow who claimed to be a high school art teacher wanting to teach his class to tie a particular fly of the week that I had submitted. I took this in good faith, mailed “them” some flies and materials and recieved a thank you note in return from this fellow.
Now either the class was totally blown away by my flies and are now gleefully inspired to become fly tyers 
, or… there is some person with a few of my free flies pinned to his fleece patch slogging his way up some creek in persuit of some poor trout.
I’ll always wonder I guess. So I don’t have an answer for you…gut feel is all that I can suggest…
Let your generosity continue to reflect who you are. I’ve helped a number of people who I never heard from again. Every once in awhile, I hear back and have established some good friendships that way. The friendships have been worth it. However, my character is more worth it.
Pete
I have to say that I haven’t yet been burned, and the few things I have sent out have not only been appreciated, but I have been MORE than repaid with advice, kindness, gifts, but MOST of all, friendships. I have also stayed away from new members requesting things. I tend to watch posts, where a persons’ character & willingness to contribute to the site can be determined (2 of the best just posted prior to this reply). Usually you will find that an active FAOL member will request help for others, not themselves, although sometimes in a post you can see that an item you have but may not need might be of use to another. Bottom line is that if you feel good about what you’ve done, that’s thanks enough. Hopefully the recipient will help someone else at some point in time.
Mike
You can call me Mike & you can call me Mikey…Just remember that this site’s about sharing!
I like Diane’s post on the thread where the supposedly young man was asking…
Betty, I know what you mean.
I’ve been on both ends of this. When I first started tying I asked a few questions on the FAOL tying board and was surprised to have one guy offer my his “old” (great condition and excellent) vise while another offered me a grab bag of tying material that he was culling, some of which turned out to be way above “culled” standards.
Obviously I thanked both at the offer, again when they arrived, and followed up later with reports on how much I liked them. These days I consider both men to be friends and I hope to meet them in person and fish with them someday
I later bought a used rotary vise at ta friendly price from an FAOLer. Same drill.
A couple of months ago a young man came on the board asking the same kind of vise questions I had asked when starting. I watched his posts a few times, concluded he was legit, and ended up sending him the vise that had originally been given to me. I informed the guy who had given it to me that I had done this and he approved of my continuing the “passing it forward”. And I got an acknowledgement that it had arrived from the guy I gave it to.
I feel pretty good about this.
But there is a recent post here that makes my hackles go up, just as it probably did yours. Purportedly a youngster that lost his flies and is asking for replacements to be donated by us. He’s a new member who seems to have walked in the door with his hand out asking for donations.
I found myself very suspicious. And, even if he is legit, I won’t donate. It would be reinforcing bad behavior that is far from the principles I was taught growing up.
You get more pride from the things you earn. That’s what my parents made me do, God bless them! You don’t seek charity from others, but you accept it gracefully and gratefully when it comes your way. And, when it does come your way, you repay it by passing it along to others.
You will notice he is gone.
We really do try to let these ‘beggers’ know it isn’t welcome, and we have removed some which were too obvious. We’ve also told some in the Chat that begging and whinning is not allowed - but any time you think you spot a phoney, feel free to post it right on the string. I also am suspecious of first time sellers. I would hope a person would be visible on a board a bit before they decide to try and sell stuff here. Please check out the profile - your decision of course.
(This latest one of the kid ‘falling in’ was posted while we were in town, or it probably would have been gone too…by the time we got back there were already other posts on it.)
LadyFisher, Publisher of
FAOL
I forget the exact words he said, but Walt Disney once said he’d rather be chiseled by everyone he met than trust no one.
Our Texas group has had some of the experiences you speak of. I chanced upon this quotation and believe it fits this issue:
Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.
Unknown
I have run into just what this thread is about, but if I help some one all I ask for is that they return the kindness by help two others. With this if only one person returns and helps two more people and so on well you do the math.
Ghost
I share in your scepticism, and my general rule is to not give away anything to someone I don’t know if I would not throw it out. That way there is othing lost.
Most of what I have given away seems to have worked out. I sent someone a fly line asking for one of their favorite flies in rteturn. I got that and a furled leader as well. Other things have been given away, but it seems like those I gave them to have stuck around, at least for a while.
I have some other guidelines. I don’t send anything to a “new member” or to someone who hasn’t given something to the board, like thoughtful answers or thoughtful questions. What you pay for something is generally its worth, so I want people to “pay” so what I give has value.
All that being said, I continually have things that I don’t use or need and am glad to pass it on.
jed
I do not like to take anyone down, but we can’t allow begging, just can’t. The kid may have been absolutely honest, but I had no choice. I hope somehow he makes it.
Oldfrat, your post warms my heart…it is appreciated…
And then there was a “professional tyer” who accepted one of my flies (I tied it-shipped it free) for testing. Zero feedback. About a year later I saw him at a show and wanted one of his new flies. He charged me $3.75
I did somehow manage to get on his Rage and sick jokes mailing list though …
Sometime back a fellow on here was looking for some European Blue Jay wings. I had a pair and sent them to him free of charge and all I asked was for a couple of his creations in return. He kept in touch with me letting me know how things were going with the tying and he sent me a very nice selection of flies he had tied with them. I was very pleased with the way it turned out.
He wasn’t asking for them free of charge, that was my doing.
If he had been someone who had just registered on FAOL and that very same day was asking for something free I think I would have been a little suspicious. I guess sometimes you just have to go with your gut feeling on these things.
Rocky