Here's the latest US office jargon

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November 12th, 2006

Here’s the latest US office jargon: Sent in by saltydancindave

Essential vocabulary additions for the workplace (and elsewhere)!

  1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a
    deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

  2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise,
    craps on everything, and then leaves.

  3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success
    and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

  4. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming
    upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

  5. CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

  6. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in
    a cube farm, and people’s heads pop up over the walls to see what’s
    going on.

  7. MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation’s answer to the couch
    potato.

  8. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What
    Yuppies get into when they have children and one of them stops
    working to stay home with the kids.

  9. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out
    and whiny.

  10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless
    because magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

  11. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one’s
    workplace.

  12. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are
    Annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The J-Lo
    and Ben wedding (or not) was a prime example - Michael Jackson,
    another…

  13. PERCUSSIVE AI NTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of
    an electronic device to get it to work again.

  14. ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just
    above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere
    are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they
    were designed to solve.

  15. 404: Someone who’s clueless. >From the World Wide Web error
    Message “404 Not Found,” meaning that the requested site could not be
    located.

  16. GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly
    the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip
    malls, and subdivisions.

  17. OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize
    that you’ve just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an e-
    mail by mistake).

  18. WOOFS: Well-Off Older Folks.

  19. CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through
    a Cube Farm.

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Originally published November 12th, 2006 on Fly Anglers Online.