Fishionary
by JackOhman
From Fear of Fly Fishing
We really sincerely thank Jack Ohman for use permission.
- ACTION - What you don't get after fishing all day with your new $700 fly-fishing outfit.
- ATTRACTOR FLY - A fly that attracts so much attention that it scares the bejesus out of
the trout.
- BACKING - As in Financial backing, which is what you need to begin fly fishing.
- BANK - Where you go to get financial backing to begin fly fishing.
- BAR - Where you go after you have busted off 31 flies in two hours.
- BARB - A woman you dated in college that you were thinking about when you
missed the umpteenth strike of the day.
- BASS - Trash fish sought by guys in floating Pontiac Firebirds.
- BASSHOLES - Guys who fish for bass.
- CAST - What you wear on your leg or arm after you've fallen on the slimy
boulders at the bottom on the stream.
- CATCH AND RELEASE - What game wardens do to you when you have 61 fish
in your cooler and the limit is 5.
- CREEL - An empty wicker basket.
- CUTTHROAT TROUT - Aren't they all?
- DEER HAIR - Fly-tying material available from deer barber.
- DENSITY - The average intelligence level of a bait fisherman.
- DRAG - How they look for drowned fishermen.
- DRAG-FREE DRIFT - A stream where there are no transvestites present.
- DREDGING - See Trolling.
- DRESS - What the transvestites wear at streamside.
- DRY FLY - Theoretical concept not yet perfected, like the Strategic Defense Initiative.
- EMERGER - A fly fisherman after a fall.
- FINGERING - A fully grown brook trout.
- FLOATANT - Lead in a liquid state.
- FLY - An inaccessible vent in your trousers covered up by several layers of clothing and
chest waders that you can't get to in time.
- FLY TYING - Number one hobby in mental health facilities.
- HACKLE - More expensive than sable per square inch.
- HOOK - Sales pitch expression used in conjustion with the words "line" and
"sinker" by high-priced fly-fishing outfitters after selling a piece of graphite for $500.
~ Jack Ohman
If you like Jack's fly fishing humor, be sure to look for his new book,
GET THE NET! published by Willow Creek.
LighterSide Archive
|
