April 21st, 2008

The Premiere OnLine Magazine for the Fly Fishing Enthusiast.
This is where our readers tell their stories . . .

Don't Do It Clyde
By Dick Taylor, Fincastle, VA (Grn Mt Man)

Freddie was just cruising along the bottom of the run looking for an easy meal when Clyde sidled up and asked, "Whatcha doing Fred?"

"What does it look like," was the succinct reply?

"Well, you could be just killing time, looking for Rainbow Jane or maybe a little afternoon snack."

"As a matter of fact, I'm thinking about grabbing one of these tasty nymphs that a fly fisherman just scrapped off those rocks he so noisily stumbled over."

"Danged if you're not correctmundo once again Fred." "If it wasn't for old "Stumble Foot" there we'd have to wait for the afternoon hatch to procure a decent meal."

"Now Clyde; you'd better be careful what you're grabbing around here cause them good ole T.U. boys and gals have been known to prowl these waters on a regular basis."

"What's so bad about that Fred?" "Aren't they the friendly folks that clean our waters?"

"Well some of them Chapter #308 folks are pretty stealthy when they come around here and a few of them have been known to tie up some mighty fine lookin' imitations of our regular diet."

"Are you trying to tell me that they're good enough to fool us with that mess of fur, feather and foolishness they keep throwing into our house?"

"Didn't you hear what happened to Charlie last week in this same run?"

"Naw – But, you know, I haven't seen him in a couple of days now."

"Well, he was just resting behind the big poplar tree stump on the far side there and along comes this "peachy" looking thing and it was wonderful to behold." "A veritable complete meal in just one gulp." "Charlie slid out from that stump, quicker'n a goosed otter, and latched onto that "peach thang" and started back to his lair. All of a sudden it started pulling on his jaw something fierce and he couldn't get away."

"What happened next? Did he just let loose of the it?"

"No – there was a terrible fight. First he was dragged up to the top of the water; then he was able to pull the "thing" back downstream for a bit. Suddenly it pulled him sideways and almost beached him on the near bank; but, he was able to sprint upstream and get into that fast run at the head of the pool. All of a sudden there was a big black "thing" closing all around him and he was lifted out of the water."

"Oh no! What got him. Some of that plastic stuff that people throw in our house all the time?"

"Nope. This time it was one of those "net things" that old Stumble Foot and his friends sometimes use. Hoisted him right outta the water, grabbed him around his middle and suddenly there was a horrible flash of light!"

"Was it the "light at the end of the funnel?"

"Naw. Turned out to be one of them digital picture taking things."

"Does it hurt to get your picture took?"

"Only if you're looking right at it when the "lighting strikes."

"What happened to Charlie then?"

"Well...you're not gonna believe this Fred. But, old Stumble Foot jerked that "peachie thing" outta Charlie's jaw, dunked him back in the water, proceeded to slosh him back 'n forth like a locomotive piston and then cut 'em loose!"

"What did Charlie do after all that ruckus?"

"He took off for parts unknown and hasn't been seen since."

'Well, what should we do if we see another one of them "peachie thangs" floating down the river?"

"If you know what's good for you, you'll just let it pass and stick to those delicious "4 bead nymphs" that 'Old Baldy" brings with him when he comes here."

"So, are they better'n those 'peachy things?"

"Not really; but, they look so much more purty hanging out your jaw!"

Moral of the story: When things start looking "peachy" just stick with a hairy nymph! ~ Grn Mt Man

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