The Internet is a remarkable electronic universe, which was probably not invented
by Al Gore. Surfing the “Net” is addictive and frustrating. Millions of information
sources provide fact and fiction, insight and invention, but frequently fall
just short of the perfect answer. Sometimes fly fishermen only want perfection.
Perhaps, if Jimmy Soul’s If You Wanna Be Happy was always playing
in the background, life would be much easier.
If you wanna be happy
For the rest of your life,
Never make a pretty woman your wife,
So from my personal point of view,
Get an ugly girl to marry you.
Believe it or not, most fish do not discern fine details in a fly until it
is a foot or less away. A good bit of the science involving fish vision is
guess-ology, but it is certain that fish lenses are perfectly spherical, which
enables them to see underwater because it has a higher refractive index to
help them focus and they focus by moving the lens in and out instead of stretching
it like we do. They see through monocular vision (one eye only and 2 dimensionally)
except for a triangular area above and in front of their head where the lines
of monocular vision cross. At that point it is likely they have already decided
whether or not to taste a fly and, if it is not repugnant smelling and generally
resembles something they think of as food, they will inhale it.
Say man.
Hey baby.
Saw your wife the other day.
Yeah?
Yeah, she’s ugly.
Yeah, she’s ugly, but she sure can cook.
Why would fish eat ugly flies? Consider “generic,” flies. All generic patterns
are intended to sort of replicate something food-ish that fish might eat.
These are ugly patterns that do not look like anything in nature, but when
it comes to catching fish, they sure can cook. A recent study by the University
of Liverpool came up with scientific answers that reflect Pavlov and common
sense. Fish respond to stimuli both instinctively and through learned response.
They may have individual learning experiences but may also exhibit a herding
or community action response and can recall this to use an appropriate response
for several years. The most intriguing aspect of the new study is that there
are apparently fish personalities, with aggressive and non-aggressive fish
of the same species. The study suggests that a bold fish are more active and
more prone to approach and eat unfamiliar snacks. They eat more than their
reluctant brothers and are more catch-able. Timid fish will leave strange-looking
food alone. The question then arises as to why to use generic flies instead
of replica flies.
A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall.
As soon as he marries her
Then she starts to do
The things that will break his heart.
Replica flies are intended to exactly replicate prey. The problem is that
such flies are tied in an environment of air breathers, not underwater. A
dragonfly nymph floating in the water is a little glump of wiggly parts that
a fly tyer never saw on a vise. These parts fold and collapse and undulate
in ways that look nothing at all like a photo of the nymph, and they don’t
always do the folding and collapsing and undulating in the same way. Each
glump may differ from the next. In the same way a prom date’s hairdo in a
rain shower resembles nothing like it did at the salon, a fly should change
with the wet environment. Unfortunately, many very expensive replica flies
look the same under all conditions. They break your wallet and your heart.
Older larger fish are not stupid. Generic flies, particular pattens like chenille
and soft hackle varieties, look positively ugly in the water, but they look
ugly in that tantalizing non-uniform glump-ish manner that says they might
be food.
Don’t let your friends say
You have no taste,
Go ahead and marry anyway,
Though her face is ugly,
Her eyes don’t match,
Take it from me she’s a better catch.
Consider a 10:30AM on a Saturday morning when the fish in a private lake have
gotten lockjaw. Six veteran fly fishers ply the waters with precisely tied
patterns, only to be continually discouraged, and then eight year old Kenneth
arrives with a fly that looks remarkably like this. He tied it himself and
it consists of a small strip of foam, some flashaboo on top and a few pheasant
tail fibers as a tail. It looks exactly like nothing in nature. Kenneth casts
only 10’ and doesn’t work his fly but waits patiently until a large bluegill
hooks itself; and then another, and then another. Then a massive bass roars
out of the water in anger and after a short fight spits the hook. Then even
more bluegill.
What the fish thought Kenneth’s fly was supposed to be we will never know.
Perhaps something just “near ‘nough” like prey to attack, something sort of
food-ish. All that is known for sure is the six veteran anglers are all likely
to tie up ugly flies for next time.
Never marry yourself to just pretty flies.
Originally published October 5, 2009 on Fly Anglers Online by Bob Boese.