Stupid Questions......

FAOL Community Sound Off
1

We’ve been told over and over that there is ‘no such thing as a stupid question’. Most of us who work with the public also know that this just isn’t true…so, for the glory and for the fun (no money involved, sorry), how about posting your favorite ‘stupid questions’ you’ve had or heard about.

I’ll start:

I’m a glass sculptor. I make small sculptures out of glass, mostly animals and such. I’ve done this all over the western half of the US, at fairs, art/craft shows, malls, etc… I only do shows where I can ‘demonstrate’ (make my sculptures right there).

Years ago I was doing a show at a mall in Southern California. I’ll never forget this…I was working on a large unicorn…back then you had to have lots of unicorns. Two middle aged ladies were seated on bench about twenty feet from me, watching me work.

They were chatting, watching me, and having a snack…after about twenty minutes of this, I saw one lady point to me and say something quietly to her companion.

This lady gets up and walks over to me. You have to picture this…I’m seated behind a burning torch with about 20 inches of flame shooting out and spreading around a piece of hot glass. The blue flame from the torch flares to a bright orange when it hits the glass.

The woman looks me in the eye and says:

“Excuse me, sir. Are you piercing ears?”

Whenever anyone tells me there is ‘no such thing as a stupid question’, I always remember this moment.

Anyone else have a ‘stupid question’ experience they’d like to share?

Buddy

2

Many years ago when I first started working at the college, I was assigned the task of pressure washing the brick on the outside of the buildings on main campus. I used a 2,500psi pressure washer which was powered by a 11hp gasoline Briggs and Stratton engine. While filling the gas tank on the unit, a faculty member was walking by and proclaimed:

“So that is how you are getting the outside of the buldings so clean; you are using gas!”

3

Hi Buddy,

Thats a good one.

If I’ve heard this question once, I’ve heard it a thousand times…

Customer walks into the fly shop and asks, " How much does it cost to get started in fly fishing ? ".

Customer comes in with a small tin containing several flies that all have had their hooks broken and asks: Where do you keep the replacement points ?
Fly Shop Employee: Right over there next to the little acetylene tank, but our welder doesn’t come in ‘til noon.
( he didn’t need stronger hooks, just stronger casting skills. )

Fly shop employee rigging a new line on a new reel asks the customer, " What do you want on the end of this? " (meaning a mono butt, loop, etc. )
Customer answers: A Fish ?

Customer asks: What’s a wading staff?
Fly Shop Staffer: The six guys you hire to carry all this stuff down to the river for you.

There are millions of them, but the one that ranks the highest with me, is the one that doesn’t get asked. Help is always available.

Best, Dave

.

4

In my college electrical circuits class, our professor was an old man who always liked to tell a bad joke at the end of class. One day, it went like this: “…so if you’re ever on a golf course and you find yourself in a lightning storm, you should just hold up a one iron, because not even God can hit a one iron.”

Well, right as he finishes his joke, this moron in the 2nd row raises his hand to ask, with all seriousness, this question. “If you actually are in a lightning storm, would it be a good idea to stick your golf clubs in the ground and then lay down between them, so the lightning would strike your clubs instead of you?”

The professors looks at him for a moment and then says, “that is the stupidest question I have ever been asked. Class dismissed.”

5

Back in the gas shortages of the 70’s when they still pumped your gas, I pulled into a station that had just run out of gas. The attendant came up and said “we just ran outa gas, truck won’t be in til tomorrow afternoon, whats ya wanta do?” I smiled and said, “that’s OK, we’ll wait.”

6

When my wife and I were first married, she was a decent cook, but, when frying chicken, she could not make gravy for the mashed potatoes worth a darn.

I would go to our local Kentucky Fried Chicken Restaurant and buy a container of gravy.

If the drive through was backed up, I would go inside. All I would order was a container of gravy.

The cashier would ask, “Is this for here or to go?”
My reply, “For here, just give me a straw.”

I got some strange looks.

7

A while back I stopped at my local convenience store to get a six pack of my favorite brew. A search of the refrigerator case revealed only a single carton with one missing bottle so I decided to settle for five.

I approached the check out counter and the young clerk informed me he couldn’t sell me that because it wasn’t full. I said, can’t you just deduct for the missing bottle? He said, well I suppose but I can’t figure out what one would cost. The carton was clearly marked. $5.99

8

Years ago a few of us were scuba diving off a dock from a resort hotel. We brought the “treasure” we found - sonar transducer, fishing tackle etc. back to the dock. The activity drew a small crowd as we continued to bring items to the dock.

I found a 20# anchor that I was bringing to the dock when an elderly woman asked “Where did you find that, on the bottom?”

9

In the 60s I was stationed on a Submarine. You would be surprised how many visitors asked “Where are the windows at?” when we asked "what windows?’ they would reply something like “the ones you use to see where you are going”.
RY

10

When I was in college a number of my friends worked Mackinaw Island( a famous tourist trap) during the summer. When they came back to school in the fall they had lists of unbelieveably questions that tourists had asked during the summer.

One I remember is “Does this island have water all the way around it?”
The fact that they had to get there by ferry did not deter them

11

We were deep sea fishing out of Ensenada, BC, Mexico. A fellow fisherman asked one of the deck hands how far north we would have to travel to be on the Pacific Ocean. He said, “We are on the Pacific.”
The guy shook his head, “No. We are in Mexico so wouldn’t this be the Gulf of Mexico?”

12

I work as a part time ski instructor. In the Colorado foothills near the continental divide the weather changes constantly and unpredictably. Weather forecasting is more of an optimistic guess than a science.

At least once a week I get asked ‘what will the weather be like next Tuesday’? My answer: If I knew that I’d get paid a lot more!

Never underestimate the stupidity of the general public! While not technically a ‘question’ my all time favorite is when someone actually made it into the restroom toilet stall, still wearing their rental skis! She got stuck and had to call for help! How she got in there unnoticed I can’t say, there is even a 6" step up at the front door!

13

A few years ago, my brother inlaw and I were doing a 10K Volkswalk in the town of Lake Oswego, Oregon. It was a hot day, so at the end of the 6 miles, so we stopped by a 7-11, to purchase a big Slurpee. The biggest Slurpee cup, did not look big enough to me, so I scanned to the left and noticed the biggest Pop cup was bigger! I proceeded to fill the Pop cup with my fav Slurpee flavor, took it to the counter, and when the Checker saw what I had done, he gave me an evil look, and i knew that there was going to be trouble! I asked him: “Is it alright that I did this?”, and he said “YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE DONE THAT!” I was so damn thirsty, that I told him to charge me anything he wanted to!, so I recall that he charged me over $3.00, for my customized Slurpee. A few weeks later we stopped at a 7-11, in another town and there was this Notice: “Only Slurpee Cups are to be used for this machine”
We joked for months about the trouble that I had started! :rolleyes:
Doug

14

The Ultimate Stupid Question is “Are You Sleeping?” closely followed by “Are You Awake?”!

15

One day at the scene of a fire I stepped back to catch my breath for a minute. You have to picture all the red fire trucks with their flashing lights. Also the street is covered with hose laying all over the place. A guy comes up to me and asks - was there a fire?

16

How about the 3rd post in my thread looking for help on getting stuck spools off an IC-3 reel. I got them off and made a post to let others know.

The question is “why did you have to use hot water to get them off”…Does THAT qualify" I just posted they were stuck and was looking for a way to remove them. How do you answer this question? Is the question about expansion, heat and cold…and the different expansion ratios between plastic and aluminum? Sorry. I am not a physicist.

Why did I have to soak them in hot water to get them off…because it works.

Why does Al Capone rob banks…because that is where the money is.

Gemrod

17

While dressed in waders and holding a fly rod in a multi-use parking lot I been asked a few dumb questions. Here’s two:
Are you going fishing?
Are there any fish in the water?

18

I get asked that WHILE I’m fishing. :confused:

19

Years ago I worked in Grand Teton National Park, building trails in the back country. We had a horse packer who loved to fool with the “touri” (tourists). He had several packhorses loaded with a generator (gas) and several coils of power cord, to run a rock drill for making dynamite holes. We’d stopped to take a breather, when some hikers came along. We talked a bit, and then one of them asked the wrangler what he was going to do with all that power cord? He said “it’s to run the generator.” This guy asked, “where do you plug it in at”? The reply? “Welllll, we just string these extensions cords seven miles, back to Jenny Lake, and plug them in there”. It was pretty hard to keep a straight face, especially when the guy believed him.

20

As far as stupid questions go, these are the stupidest…

If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth?

Why can’t woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?

Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say
“hi, my name’s Bob. I’m an alcoholic”?

If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a ***?

Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?

Why does mineral [COLOR=blue! important][FONT=lucida grande][COLOR=blue! important][FONT=lucida grande]water[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR] that has trickled through mountains for centuries
have a use by date?

Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a
horrible crisp no one would eat?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say “I think i’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out”?

What do people in China call their good plates?

If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand on two legs when Pluto remains on four? They’re both dogs.

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams and do they dream?

If Wile E coyote has enough money to by all that Acme crap why doesn’t he buy his [COLOR=blue! important][COLOR=blue! important][FONT=lucida grande]dinner[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR]?

Why is a person who handles money called a [COLOR=blue! important][COLOR=blue! important][FONT=lucida grande]broker[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR]?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from [COLOR=blue! important][COLOR=blue! important][FONT=lucida grande]vegetables[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR]. What is baby oil made from?

If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong?

Why is it that when someone tells you that there’s billions of stars in the universe,
you believe them. But if they tell you there’s wet [COLOR=blue! important][COLOR=blue! important][FONT=lucida grande]paint[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR] somewhere you have to touch it?

Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the [COLOR=blue! important][COLOR=blue! important][FONT=lucida grande]window[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR]?[/FONT]