What is life if there is not laughter?
Welcome to the lighter side of flyfishing! We welcome your stories here!
April 24th, 2000
Fishing the Global Village
by Jack Ohman
Let’s take a quick, Fishing Bass-Acwards look at a recent
sampling of the cable listings for TV fishing shows:
(13) (FISHNET) KICKIN’ BASS with “Scooter” Analvent. Join
Scooter as he heads into Cambodia’s rice paddies in the De-Ranger Bass
Boat and kicks largemouth bass and commie ass. Scooter is joined by
Cambodian bass guide Bhat Ton Rouge, who has a wide command of English
than the Ol’ Scootman. The “Mister Mister Twisted Sister Bassin’ Blisterer”
lure will be field-tested in a monsoon and under light-to-moderate small
arms fire.
(16) (PBS) THE AIRBORNE ANGLER. The Airborne Angler travels this
week to the Tigris and Euthrates to jig for walleyes as the ancient Egyptians
did 3,000 years ago. Then we travel to the Soviet Union’s world-famous
Chernobyl radioactive sloughs for crappie fishing with Mikhail Gorbachev,
and then on to the North Pole for ice fishing through the ice cap with the
grandchilden of Admiral Peary. Make possible by a grant from the John T.
and Catherine D. MacArthur Foundation, the Chubb Groups of Insurance
Companies, and Al’s House O’Minnows Tackle Shop.
(24) (FIN-SPN) THE PHYSICS OF FISHING 201 with Dr. Normark
Rapala. Dr. Rapala demonstrates leech fishing while using whale noises
to call in unsuspecting walleyes, and tests the tensile strength of crappie
lips with the aid of the space shuttle Atlantis crew. With
charts, graphs, tables, quadritic polynomials, Boolean algebra, quantum mechanics,
space-based laser technology, Ground Wave Electronics Networks, free-radicals,
rogue genes, and really, really big numbers. Companion workbook available
at small arrogant private Eastern college bookstores. Four credits. M-Th-F.
~ Jack Ohman
Excerpt from Fishing Bass-Ackwards,
published by Willow Creek Press, Minocqua, WI.
Originally published April 24th, 2000 on Fly Anglers Online by Jack Ohman.