Ladyfisher is right on point! My Dad use to say to me " If you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything". The Bible also states that a wise man holds his tounge. That tells me that If you think about what you say before you say it you have gained wisdom.
But what if I’m mad at somebody and want to speak my mind?
(BTW, I thought about that one before I typed it). 
“If firearms cause crimes and kill people, all of the ones I have must be defective.”
if i thought about what i was gonna say before i said it, i’d never say anything!
I have learnt its all very well holding your tongue but most people dont realise it bothers you unless you speak up.
tyflier’s right. I have worked in the credit/collections field for most of 35 years, and been cussed at MANY times…I’m known for never raising my voice & avoiding arguments. In fact, one younger cohort says he can always tell when i am talking to a “yeller”, because I slow down & even lower my voice. It often does “soothe the savage beast”.
Mike
“The squeaky wheel gets the grease.” Can’t remember who said it, but it’s very true. If you don’t speak up about a problem, it will never be solved. However, there are good ways and bad ways. It’s up to you to decide which is which.
I’m new to FLOA but have spent many hours in here looking at articles,patterns, etc. This site is my Monday evening!
I have to agree with tyflier. Use tact when opposing someones thoughts,ideas,concerns, etc. But be firm in what is right and wrong.
When someone storms into my office all riled up over a percived wrong I put my work aside lean back and ask them to sit down and tell me about it. We will work it out. Now people do not “storm” into my office, they come in take a seat let me finish my work and then “Discuss” the problem!! Cool heads will prevail.
This is the best site for tyers & flyfisher ever
Cactus
I propose that one of you computer literate people create a new message icon that could be used to remind someone like me to get back on the gentle path. It IS important to express opinions but I think such a reminder could help a lot.
Tyflier hit the nail on the head. It is what I call Irish diplomacy which is the art of telling someone to go to h*ll so that they look forward to the trip.
“If it was easy anybody could do it”
Timothy S. Furey Sr.
I disagree with most of the above. I use foul language, pound my fist on the table, rant and rave, slam the door, kick the wall (but not the dog or my wife) and otherwise make a complete ass of myself. There is method in my madness, however. I do it only to arouse enough anger in my friends to elicit a response. By this time,they are so angry that they don’t mind taking the time to show me the error in my ways and I have learnt something. Its an education well worth the black eyes I collect at times. I guess this is what is nowadays called street learnin’ but it works fine at club and political meetings etc. I don’t have many friends!
Ol’ Bill
Snipe, and sometimes humor is the best method of staying calm … that was funny lol.
I told one of my pilots, “Don’t worry sir. It’s your job to fly them, my job to fix them, but I wish you would please not give me so much practice, Sir.” This followed a strong discussion over this pilot always breaking the aircraft. I picked my words and attitude with care because he really was a good officer and pilot, just a little heavy handed with the aircraft. It worked. We went for eight months and over 3,000 flight hours without grounding the aircraft for any major failures.
Eric “nighthawk”
Think before you react. Use your common sense, try to surprise them with your wit, and take the high road. But then if that don’t work then…
Jerry
Dream the Life, Live the Dream
I can’t pretend to know what I don’t, so I won’t.
Board of Directors, Valley Forge Trout Unlimited
[url=http://www.flyreeldots.com:105e9]FlyReelDots.com[/url:105e9]
FAOL Sponsor
FAOL DOTS are now available
I know a little about rantin’ and ravin’. I learned something I will never forget; raising your voice and violence are never really going to solve anything or do anyone any right.
From my childhood I’ve learned what is right and wrong, but you can be darn sure I’m gonna think a little before raising hand or voice.
I figure it’s all common sense. Just think about how you want to be treated, and do that. But, I’m pretty young to be preachin about something like this.
-Joe
[This message has been edited by LedWater (edited 23 February 2005).]