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Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
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A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”
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Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
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A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: “A beer please, and one for the road.”
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Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: “Does this taste funny to you?”
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“Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The Green, Green Grass of Home.’” “That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.” “Is it common?” Well, “It’s Not Unusual.”
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Two cows are standing next to each other in a field… Daisy says to Dolly, “I was artificially inseminated this morning.” “I don’t believe you,” says Dolly. “It’s true, no bull!” exclaims Daisy.
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An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
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Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
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I went to a seafood disco last week…and pulled a mussel.
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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
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Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says
“Dam!” -
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why,” they asked, as they moved off. “Because”, he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
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A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Ahmal.” The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him “Juan.” Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a
picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.” -
And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
my head hurts
Tyronefly;
Have you given any thought to therepy? I think they will let you make furled leaders in the “Home”! Sort of like needle point! But without any sharp objects.
Walls ‘protected!’ with ‘padding!’ TOO!!! 
Good stuff! Thanks for sharing.
A fellow met an old friend in a bar. As they were standing there someone yelled out “number 15” and everyone started to laugh. The two friends continued to talk and someone shouted out “number 22”, again everyone laughed. The new guy in the bunch asked his friend, what’s the deal with he numbers? His friend explained that since they were all the regular crowd and they all knew each other’s jokes, all the jokes were numbered and they would save time by just saying the number of the joke instead of telling the whole joke. The friend thought it was a great idea so he turned to the crowd and yelled “number 7”. Everyone just stopped and looked at the guy, no laughs. He turned back to his friend and asked what did I do? The buddy said well, some people can tell a joke and some people can’t.
Rusty <><
666
Hey Doug watch the dirty jokes, this is a family forum.
Rusty <><
:shock:
Some more because I love this stuff and want to share, too:
This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while in his home town for the holidays. After looking over the menu he says, “I’ll just have the eggs benedict.” His order comes a while later and it’s served on a huge fancy chrome plate. He asks the waiter, “What’s with the fancy plate?” The waiter replies, “There’s no plate like chrome for the hollandaise!”
Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, “Are you all right?” “No, I lost an electron!” “Are you sure?” “Yeah, I’m positive!”
An Indian chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant. The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated he built her a teepee made of deer hide. A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of antelope hide. The third wife gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details a secret. He built this one a two-story teepee, made out of a hippopotamus hide. He challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred. Many tried, unsuccessfully. Finally, one young brave declared that the third wife had given birth to twin boys. “Correct,” said the chief. “How did you figure it out?” The warrior answered, “It’s elementary. The value of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.”
LOL :lol:
and of course,
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, “so, why the long face.”
ba dump ba dump!
The Queen of England gave as a wedding gift to an African chieftian a golden throne. The chief politely accepeted it but had no idea what it was for so He put it in the attic of his hut. One day a terrible wind storm blew down the hut, the heavy golden throne fell thru the roof and killed the Chieftian. Moral of the story is;
Those who live in grass houses shouldn’t stow thrones.
Jack,
The jokes that followed my posting are from members of my group therapy session. :lol:
WHY? Did you have to bring up the Topic of Group Therapy? WAIT!!! That’s RIGHT!!!
Group Therapy IS the JOKE!!! HA! HA! HA! HA! :shock:
Doug
This site is my group therapy :lol:
Eric
[url=http://www.thesmilies.com:63492]
[/url:63492]
Just reading all of y’all’s posts makes me realize how sane I am!!
Thanks, guys!!
Kirk