Have a good one.
Rick
To all of our fine ladies here on FAOL, Happy Valentines Day.
Rocky
It has recently come to my attention that some men out there are acting inappropriately which makes life difficult for the overwhelming majority of the rest of us. It seems some men are in the habit of buying cards, flowers, candy, and, yes even jewelry for their wives, girlfriends, mothers, and significant others on holidays such as Valentine’s Day, Sweetest Day, Mother’s Day and the like.
On behalf of all men, please stop this practice immediately. Your local fly shop needs the business. Those of us who do not take part in such ritualistic practices are made to look inadequate with our spouses and said spouse will frequently apply significant measures of guilt and other ego deflation tactics which makes us not spend enough money in our local fly shops to sustain their business.
So, for the sake of the fly shop owner’s children, stop this practice of flowers, candy, and jewelry on said holidays. When you’re at the jewelry counter, just imagine the sad hungry eyes of the fly shop owner’s children and, for their sake, put the Visa back in your wallet and walk out.
If that does not work, just remember, there are other men out there who forgot the holiday and will have to face a wife, girlfriend, or mother who did not forget.
This message has been brought to you by the committee for pulling men’s feet out of their mouths.
Jeff
Jeff;
THANK YOU, for a GREAT post and for standing up for us less unfortunates!
I, of course, fully agree on not allowing children of fly shop owners to starve, because we were thoughtless, on our pursuit to please our mattress mates!
And, how ABOUT the actual “fly shop owner” himself? Since he obviously doesn’t’ NEED, or have want, for any more fly fishing odds and ends, perhaps HE would like a few extra nickels to spend on HIS pillow partner on this “Holiday for Lovers”??
After all, if HIS spouse is happy, then he’s less likely to lose the shop in the divorce proceedings, right?
Finally, as she often likes to do, my own young lady that sits across the dinner table from me, nightly, also read your post and I THINK,even, she enjoyed it too! Because as she turned to leave my desk, she was mumbling under her breath, something pertaining to “A 47 year old, living in Kentucky, with too many guitars and too many cars,named JEFF, shouldn’t be hard to find!”
I wasn’t too sure, what she meant. I thought MAYBE she wanted to send you a Thank You card or something, for your great posting, so I suddenly remembered that I HAD YOUR REAL ADDRESS, because I sent you that vise and those tying tools for your fly tying classes this month!!
Boy!! Did, she ever THANK ME, for giving it to her!! First, though, she’s stopping off at DShock’s, in Portland…she needs to “thank” him for a comment he made a while back too, about her goats. She’ll be along to Kentucky, before too long…
You must understand that at this time the shack nasties are very bad. If I want to be in any condition to fish this spring to fall this is a very good time to demonstate to my better half that I do think of her and appreciate her.
It makes it easier for me to spend money at the fly shops ect when I am healthy enough to be able to go out fishing.
Besides that, it is a good chance to make me look better than some of the other men that forget this day.
Rick
Jeff,
LMAO! That is too funny! Send that to JC and the LF for the humor section on te main board.
Flybinder,
I have this vision of your wife and mine devising some torture device for me now. I’m envisioning a cylinder about 9" in length and about 1.5" in diameter that’s hollow in the middle and fuzzy on the perimeter. This cylinder is attached to a handle with a rotating wire mesh cage. I’ve heard the primary purpose of said device is to torture men for forgetting holidays like Valentine’s Day, Anniversaries, Mother’s Day etc.
The wife will typically deploy this device on the first warm day of spring when the man would like to go fishing. The deployment ritual usually goes something like this "Honey, remember a couple months back when you forgot Valentine’s day and you asked how you could make it up to me?? Of course, fishermen are honorable and will absolutely admit to our guilt induced moment of insanity and say “Yes.” Once admission of guilt takes place, the deployment trap is set. The next utterance from said wife is typically something like this: “I’m so glad you agree with me. It’s such a nice day, why don’t you paint the kitchen when we can leave the windows open to let in some fresh air?”
Booing, trap set, fishing will have to wait, the kitchen needs painting!
See guys, it all starts with an innocent little mistake (like forgetting Valentine’s day) and the next thing you know a fellow fisherman?s wife is tracking you down and conspiring with your own wife to 1) remind you of all of your guitars and your Corvette, and 2) devise implements of torture.
It’s an endless cycle and one that I now realize I cannot end and a battle I?m defenseless to fight. How hard is it to get flowers on February 14?
Jeff
Happy Valentines Day all!
Well, FIRST, Jeff you might want to check with MY “personal adviser and mentor on marital bliss”, Joe V. He’s such an EXPERT at handling women and wives, I turn to him for guidance on a regular basis, myself.
However, if you can’t get a hold of him, right now, it’s probably because he’s kind of busy painting bedrooms, I understand.
Now, you also can rest assured my friend, that you have a VERRRRYYYYY LONGGGGG wayt to go, before you can even BEGIN to equal the over ten year dog house, where I presently reside and possibly, WILL reside until I’m worm food.
Let me explain…(yes, this IS TRUE)
When I married Linda, like any halfway decent and serious, fly fisher, I’d already sorted through a wife or so, until I found HER and SHE understood my addictions.
Well, to show her “my true love for her”, my “obvious affections” and “total thrill, at finding a woman like her AT LAST”… On our very first wedding anniversary I bought her,a beautiful diamond “tennis bracelet”.
Now she would BE THRILLED with such a nice gift, I was sure!!
And, as she admitted to me, “She WOULD have been”, except for the fact…
I’d forgotten OUR anniversary date and gave her the bracelet a month EARLY,on what would have been the wedding anniversary for my 1st. EX-wife and I.
Well, I’m the type guy, Jeff, that “once I screw up, why stop there?” so when OUR actual anniversary DID roll around, in that next month, I forgot it again and instead, waited a full week PAST “our date” and gave her another nice gift…on my 1st.EX-wife’s birthday.
Of course, I made up for these two “little mistakes” of mine and when Linda’s BIRTHDAY rolled around, I really went all out in the gift department!!
I even gave her, her birthday gifts ON an actual “birthday date”. Unfortunately, it was my SECOND wife’s birthday,date… not Linda’s.
And, YOU think that YOU’RE in the dog house!?!
And, YOU think that YOU’RE in the dog house!?!
Paul,
You have me beat. The fact that you are still married to that wonderful and understanding woman is nothing short of a miracle.
My worst offense was forgetting about her birthday. I realized about 10 days later that I had missed it. (I had what I thought was a valid excuse with a really bad situation at work, but she was less accepting). She, like Linda, was good about it, but we did get new carpet, new window treatments, new living room furnature, new kitchen counters and new flooring in the kitchen. For some unknown reason, this all happened within about 5 weeks of when I remembered her birthday. Hmmm… 
Jeff
Ya know, I leave the computer for a couple of hours to go and do some actual work for pay, and you start spreading my name around like I’m the ONLY authority on marital bliss. There are actually a few of us on the board, with Marco and ohiotuber counted in the mix as well. Oh, and don’t forget that JC is an authority on EVERYTHING.
Anyway, my Linda and I both loathe “Florist Holidays,” and do our best to not support them. We just returned from a cruise that I will be paying for until the second coming of the Lord, and also just ordered new bedroom furniture. I didn’t think there was anything wrong the stuff we’ve had for 35 years, but she said the 70’s Spanish theme went out the window long ago. I tried to convince her that EVENTUALLY it will return to style, and at that point we’ll be trendy. I lost the argument and she got the furniture.
Now that the furniture is on its way from some third world country, I was told that the 15 year young carpeting needs replacement, and she’s decided on a new color scheme for the boudoir (sp?). Carpet, paint, rollers, tape, brush that is soft, 8’ ladder, yada, yada, yada, and the room is now ready for the carpeting (you don’t want to know how much), and the third world cherry furniture.
All that being said, and after spending all that money in a few week period, I was still smart enough to get a card and a box of chocolates on the way home tonite, and to take her to our favorite diner for soup & sandwich. It ain’t much, but at least I remembered.
I might not be a hopeless romantic, but I’m certainly not foolish either. Any guy who forgets his lady’s birthday, anniversary or Valentines Day, deserves whatever wrath she deals out. You guys can all talk tough on the board, but we ALL know who’s in charge.
For your sakes, I hope you all remembered.
Joe
You guys are scaring me now. Here I joined this site and learned so much and deeply appreciate all the knowledge here but then along comes a oooooo Iloveyou and you all loose it. Dag this is how I solved the flyshop iloveyou problem. I needed a new 8 weight rod for steelheading this spring, so I bought one. Handede it to my wife and said “Happy Valintines Day”. She looks at it and says “I don’t fly fish you know that.” I says “yea but baby when I go steelheading I want you there with me cause I would miss you so much being gone 3 days and all” She gets all mushy and says thank you I love you to. Problem solved fly shop gets to feed the kids and I am a hero in wifes eyes.
PS Did I tell you all I am a fiction writer LOL.
Dear Marital Mentor; (errrr, Joe);
I,DID, “remember” ALL the important dates!! I stated that,fact, in my post. I merely made the MICROSCOPIC, EXTREMELY SMALL, ITSY-BITSY mistake of kinda-sorta getting the RIGHT dates, with the WRONG girl, is all!
I didn’t think it was that big of deal. Evidently, it was one of the VERY RARE TIMES, that I’ve been in error, while thinking.
Did any of you happen to catch the bit on Fox News this morning, where a local affiliate, looking for ratings, held a drawing where the winner would get an all expense paid DIVORCE? They had about 1500 applicants when they showed the bit, but I wasn’t able to stay tuned and I don’t know who won (lost). Looks like there’s a lot of instability runnin’ around loose out there, so you Pirates had better get your kit together.
I don’t have any trouble with forgetting important dates. She doesn’t remember them either.:o