I was fly fishing the other day and noticed a man and his wife fishing downstream from me. She was obviously a beginner, but could cast OK but not with much distance. She was very supportive of him and cheered every time he hooked a fish. Unfortunately he seemed less concerned for her. She was using decent equipment but was not casting into waters that would likely have fish. With just a little caoching , she could have been catching fish. I wanted to go over to her and show her some better places to cast and in general help her catch some fish. I didn’t because I was afraid that I might offend the guy.
In any case I thought to myself that with a little help on his part he could have helped her have an even more enjoyable outting. Was I being a weenie or remiss in not offering her some help?
I think you handled it correctly. I am not too sure how the other guy would handle the situation with you assisting his wife/girlfriend. Maybe he did not want her to have a good time so that he could go fishing without her. If that is the case, I feel sorry for him.
After thinking about your post, I think if I was in your waders, I would work my way up/down the river towards them and maybe strike up a conversation with the guy and if it went well, he may ask for your assistance with his wife/girlfriend. What I would do would hinge on the guy’s personality. Some people do not take help very well and you would be better off to just keep your distance.
I do agree with you that it would be very difficult to not want to assist anyone who you thought you could help so they would enjoy the experience more, but, some look at that as “butting in where you are not welcome”. What a shame.
In a conversation with the guy, if he started asking for assistance or help or what you might suggest that would help his wife/girlfriend catch fish, then the door has been opened for you. Until that door is opened for you, there is not much you can do except continue enjoying your day and feel sorry for the wife/girlfriend.
Just my opinions
I understand your problem. I think I too would have said nothing.
When I teach I often do not take a rod with me. Its too easy to get distracted. When teaching I try and keep my hands in my pockets unless absolutely necesssary to demonstrate.
jed
You can either fish or teach, but you cannot do both at the same time. Instructing somebody to the point where they start catching fish takes (at least for me) one’s complete attention.
You are a wise man for not attempting to teach that man’s wife.
I think you handled it correctly as well. If she’s still supportive of him then they’re doing alright in their own relationship dynamic. At some point she’s going to want to catch fish as well and then she’ll ask him for advice or help and if he’s a good guy, he’ll teach her.
My wife has fished a LOT more than I have, but not as a fly fisherman. So when we fish together I try to be supportive, without telling her that she’s doing anything wrong. Ironically, the only fish I’ve caught on a fly so far has been when she was getting frustrated and handed me her rod and said “Here, do you want to try to catch him?” I took her rod and caught him in just a couple of cast.
Luckily, we were able to laugh about that.
I’ve talked to my wife about signing us up for a basic fly casting class and perhaps even buying a guide for a day. Up here in the Sierras it looks like a full day trip with a guide and 2 clients is about $300 to $350. A half day trip is around $200. If we find a good guide who can teach us I think I’ll go for it. I’m sort of looking at a guided trip as a class on how to be a better fly fisherman. If I get better then as a side effect, I’ll catch more fish.
I know a lot of folks look at a guided trip as “show me where the fish are”. I’d rather it be “Show me how to know where the fish are.”
i would probably go and help her… but im 14 i dont think the guy is gonna get to offended by a teenager!!!
:lol: :lol:
but in your situation i wouldnt have said anything either.
DruLeeParsee,
Check with a local fly shop, & ask if they give, or know someone that gives lessons. The shop I tie for give a package class. Rod, reel, lines all set up for one price. If you hire a guide you have to tell what you want,catching fish or lessons. It’s hard to do both with two people.
I agree with Warren’s …“strike up a conversation” approach…
Chris is right…at 14 years old, he could probably get away with it. I agree with the “I wouldn’t”. Years ago, I bowled in our Hospital’s mixed league & offered help to a gal on my team who had left a split…she picked it up & gave me a hug…she was probably 25 years my senior. Afterward, her husband (who watched us bowl every week) came up to me & told me to stay the H away from his wife. Needless to say, I was embarrassed & hurt by his distrust. You never know when jealousy can rear it’s ugly head.
Mike
That’s exactly it unfortunately. If somebody I didn’t know came up and offered to help my wife I don’t think I would be too pleased either, and a lot of people are testier than I am!
What the heck anyway? Its their business.
My wife recently began fly fishing and she is the first beginner I have ever tried to teach to fly fish. I’ll be writing columns about this the rest of this year, so I don’t want to say too much here. BUT…
She had basic training from famous pros in the industry before I ever said the first word.
When we go fishing, I tell her what I plan to do and why and what I think she should do and why. She wants me to do that now because we fish places I have been fishing for years. She asks me what fly to use and how much and what size of tippet. Then I let her fish. I go fish. I keep an eye on her while I’m fishing to see how it’s going for her. If she is having a problem, I stop fishing. I walk over to her and watch. Shortly, she will ask for advice if she’s not having any luck, having a casting/mending/line mgmt problem, etc. I can then make some adjustments. Then I stand a watch until I’m confident that the problem is resolved. Then I excuse myself to go back to fishing and tell her if she needs something to holler.
Our biggest issue right now is hook setting and fish playing. She’s getting strikes and now she’s hooking up with some of them. Usually, she’s not hooking up well and/or she doesn’t keep the right line tension and the fish throws the hook right away…trout fishing, that is. And we fish barbless. She’ll get the hang of it. It just takes a bit of experience in the “what NOT to do” category for someone to start landing fish. And the whole concept is new to her.
I’m sort of glad it isn’t coming easily for her. When she actually lands her first trout on a fly rod, she is going to be SO pleased with her accomplishment! It will be a special day that will live in her memory forever because she’s had to work for it.
SilverMallard,
I trust we will be advised when she lands her first? I know that I look forward to hearing of it.
Mike