Dad's a Dork

Ladyfisher’s article this week is a home run. Many great points, a couple of which I would like to touch on. First regarding the general dumbing-down of dads on TV; this hasn’t gone unnoticed in our family, but it certainly stands as on of the lesser sins of TV, not nearly as venal as the rampant sex-capades that are paraded about as entertainment or the gross lifestyles extolled as admirable, be they licentious or overly material in nature. All of this led to an easy cure in our house. By the time our young daughter was 12 months old the TV was out of here.
She’s 5 now, and though we own a TV and a video and DVD player, we have no broadcast TV service and none of us are the worse for it. Red Sox on the radio and and a newspaper keep us up to date on the goings on at Fenway and the rest of the world, and as for entertainment, we do things together, and plenty of it outside. Which brings me to my next point.
My 5 year old daughters favorite things are racoons, frogs, and currently, sneeches. Though sneeches are tough to track down around here (thank goodness for the internet and plush) frogs are easy to catch down at the pond, where we swim and fish and play together. When the ducks come flying in she doesn’t look up and say “look daddy, ducks!” she instead says “Look daddy, teal!” or mallard, or bufflehead, as the case may be. She knows the life stages of the damselfly and dragonfly and can pick out a bluegill bed at 20 yards.
Not all of this is just because of her time outdoors. Great books, and yes, videos and dvds have helped her developed such a keen interest in the natural world around her. And when the sun sets at the pond and we set off for home, it’s often straight to the tying vise that we head, where she ties a “purple dragonfly” or something of that ilk. Last week she turned and said to me: “I think I need a rotary vice daddy”.
No problem. I called up Hook and Hackle and bought one, for the cost of what we used to spend for one months satellite TV service. Money well spent? I think so. And she doesn’t think this dad is such a dork after all. But hey, check back with me in a few years! Alec

[This message has been edited by flytackle (edited 13 March 2006).]

Most excellent post, thank you!
And thanks to LF for the column too.


[url=http://www.native-waters.com:7a177]http://www.native-waters.com[/url:7a177]

Flytackle<

You are doing it RIGHT!! After teaching hunters ed for a number of years, I have noticed the same trend as LF said in her article {well written!!} and am proud to say my children have turned out pretty good.

The granddaughter is learning alot thru the modern methods, but her parents are both very hands on and you can see that in the way she interacts with them and other people, and she is only 20 months old!

I am proud to say that a very large majority of the younger {25 or younger) kids here in Wyo. are very polite even to opening doors for other people and saying a simple thanks when it is appropriate.

Don’t give up on our youth yet, there is hope for them yet!!


Wyo-blizzard aka Bloody Tom Bonney

[This message has been edited by Byron Zuehlsdorff (edited 13 March 2006).]

[This message has been edited by Byron Zuehlsdorff (edited 16 March 2006).]

Great observations LF. I really enjoyed the article. You are right, there are few positive role models on TV today. We have shows like Survivor and The Apprentice that celebrate backstabbers. The Hollywood types seem to be largely people who have never walked on anything but concrete or the tiles of a shopping mall. Their narrow view of the world seems to find it’s way into scripts and story lines and ultimately into the minds of our young people. There is never anything like hunting incorporated into a sit-com unless it is part of some great moral dilemma.

In the great TV shows of the sixties, the dads all went hunting and fishing. To be fair though, I’d say the all-time “dad is a dork” award must go to Darren Stevens of Bewitched.

I think what we have on TV regarding the roles Dad’s play is the evolution of prgramming. In my opinion, for some reason, TV has to keep changing to perk interest and viewership. The World According To Jim’s is what people today watch and talk about. Sponsors will flock to this, and keep the Networks happy. Maybe it is because viewership of the Dork Dad programs are msotly viewed by women? I don’t see Budweiser commericals but rather Kraft and JC Penny paying the bills. Maybe all the good dads of today are watching something else, like OLN Fly Fishing America? The Friday show is prime time (8:30 EST) and the son or daughter can watch it too. Time changes all things, Who knows what 2016 will bring?


I learn more about the world while talking to myself when fishing alone

Not a lot that I can say that has not been already. Its a fact that Hollywood in general is trying to tear down what is best about this country under guise of altrusim. Thats how I see it.


RRhyne56
[url=http://www.robinscustomleadersandflies.com:90706]http://www.robinscustomleadersandflies.com[/url:90706]
IM = robinrhyne@hotmail.com

Thanks LadyFisher,

Another thought provoking article this
week. We’ve certainly seen “the dumbing
down of Dad” as well as other troubling
aspects of television today. I keep seeing
it explained away as “the times in which
we live”. Duh, wake up folks. If your
folks and your grandparents were in your
living room tonight to view some TV, which
shows would you want them to see? When did
family values erode to the point that the
media could spew whatever garbage they want
in our living rooms for the sake of ratings?

Flytackle is my hero for the week!G Way
to go buddy. My parents decided what was
appropriate for me to watch just as my wife
and I did for our kids. More parents should
and if it affected the ratings perhaps there
would be better programs to watch. Warm
regards, Jim

The were some great TV father figures in the past. One of my favorites was Fred McMurry in My Three Sons.
There are also some more recent ones.
Bill Cosby comes to my mind immediately.
There were also some dorkie Dads in the past, gagabot mentions Darren Stevens. There were many, many others.
I don’t think TV has changed all that much over the years. The majority of stuff is not worth watching but it is interlaced with a handful of jems.
Sometimes, when people get nostalgic about “the good old days” they remember the flowers, not the fertilizer

Who will ever forget Andy walking down the dirt road to the pond with his son, cane pole and bobber over his shoulder? The only dork on that show was deputy Barnie…great memories. Also, Aunt Bee was no slouch herself.

Ask yourself how your parents, or grandparents would have reacted to commercials, showing a couple of guys standing in front of urinals in a mens room, extolling the virtues of the latest cable tv provider. What would they think of the newly “male enhanced” neighbor, diving into a pool, losing his suit, and standing proudly while the neighbors contemplated his newfound masculinity? Products for male dysfunction, female hygiene, Herpes protection, and a host of others, would have shocked and outraged our parents. So, what messages do our kids glean from having to wade through the cesspool of rotten tv programmming and advertising, Hollywood’s versions of what folks ought to be watching, music, videos, and games of rapes, murders, sex, and violence, in order to pluck a gem or two from amongst the offal. Censorship and free speech are used as weapons in what I think of as “The Plan” to remove anything virtuous or admirable from our society. Since none of us would care to live without free speech, or with over-zealous censors, it has to be US, in our individual (rapidly disappearing)families, who sets the parameters, and monitors the content of our childrens free time. WE, who must provide guidance and role models for our young to follow. WE, who must create opportunities and interest, for the following generation to occupy the time that they would otherwise spend in much lesser pursuits. Outdoor activities are great, not so much because of what they are, but because we do them together, with minimal distraction. They allow us to bond with each other in common interest. It doesn’t have to be fishing, hunting, camping, hiking etc., as long as we are together, pursuing common interests. We must spend our most valuable resources on our children. OUR TIME AND ATTENTION. This is me, climbing down off my soapbox.

Great article Ladyfisher!!


Lew

My wife and I don’t have kids yet. And not broadcast either. We do have a nice tv and DVD player and all that, but not broadcast. I canceled the broadcast service some 7 months ago and we’re as happy as never before. I personlally feel my self better. I feel like my mind is not intoxicated any more. To much violence and sadness is in tv (now and before). I can’t stay sitting confortable in my sofa watching other suffering through the news! I have also to admit that I find most of the shows (if not all of them…) very silly to even spend a second watching them. I do read the news papers, but here I have the option of what to read. Although I miss the sports a little bit I think that is a good deal… I feel a little bit lighter now.
I’m an avid fly fisherman and my wife is an avid bird-watcher. So we espend a lot of time outdoor walking the trails or paddling the rivers/lakes watching birds and fishing around.
By the way, I growup watching tv, mainly cartoons during the 70s and part of the 80s. However, I did have a wild childhood! with a lot of outdoor life!


“It is not our differences that divide us; it is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences” Audre Lorde

Ah yes, all those wonderful family shows we watched growing up in the 50’s and 60’s. The dads were real role models. Never a cross word. Going to work everyday while the wife, dressed to the nines, in an apron of course and wearing pearls, stayed home and did what any good house wife of that era would do.

And let’s not forget The Honeymooners. Every week there would be Ralph Cramdon standing with a clenched fist promising Alice that one of these days, he was going to send her to the moon.

TV today has a variety of programs. Not eveything appeals to me. Those that don’t I don’t watch. Maybe malevo has the right idea. After all, he is from Iowa. S

I will chime in but with a little different slant. While I have lamented the dad as dork syndrome on network TV for many years. Also you have the cheating spouse syndrome where it seems that at least one TV show has a husband cheating on his wife. However, my biggest rant was against the Lifetime channel, when my wife and I had cable. It seemed like Lifetime, which is known as a channel to promote women’s causes, was constantly running The Burning Bed made for TV movie, so much so that even a local shock jock would quip, from time to time, on air that he was flipping through channels and what did he see on the Lifetime network but The Burning Bed. In addition, it seemed like most other movies that they aired had sleazy low-life men characters, i.e. cheating husbands, abusive spouses/boyfriends, etc. I am not exaggerating for effect either, I never saw a movie or show that showed a man in a good light, perhaps I have lousy timing and just happened onto the shows that showed men in a bad light. I think this reflects badly on women that if their main issues appear to be men behaving badly, as their special interest network seems to indicate.

Now I’m not saying that the occasional dad can’t be a dork or that only women are dorks. I think the dorkdom needs to be spread out a little better as it is in reality. Men are not more pre-disposed to being dumb, neither are women, same with behaving badly, we all do from time to time. I would also agree that we need more positive characters that should be showing people, especially kids, how smart people can be and what great benefits there are to doing good deeds. Perhaps things will change if I can get my exploits published, The HVAC Engineer Chronicles-How One Man Heated and Cooled the Navy.

Paul

TV; I’m not even going to comment on that facet as 90% is garbage. It’s the commercials that incense me. If you have feminine itch, see a doctor or pharmacist in private. Why do the “know all” females even allow this type of intrusion into their privacy without protest? Ah, modesty is a thing of the past.

Dad’s a dork because we as a society have allowed it; we have abdicated the authority to make family decisions to the legislature. In order to become career legislators, they must pander to the minority voice for votes and the majority continually says, “well, it doesn’t really hurt me directly, so let them have this or that…blah, blah, blah”. The 1960’s inch turned into a thousand miles.

So, in only forty-five year’s time after the first bra was ripped off…we have modern American society! No mores, morals, ethics or taboo’s. Situational ethics and new math, don’t get any better than that!!

God bless all the real cowboys, what they must be enduring now after the Oscars. And, if I go into one more Men’s Room with a changing table on the wall, I’m going to rip it off the wall!

Men of America, you need to get back to reading books. Yeh, that’s it, one of those “How To” books. No, not Spock. I know it’s an old book, really old, but I’m sure there are copies still around somewhere, maybe in your basement or attic packed away. It tells you, no, commands you to be the “head” of the household (that’s family, dudes)and how to set good examples, how to lead, how to teach children without having a degree in child psychology, etc. It’s crammed full of good tips. Can’t think of the name of it right now; maybe from the description, you can come up with it.

The “Dork Dad” phenomenon has been around for about 20 years now. It began as a concerted ploy by the advertising industry. Through focus groups they realized that men were not easily offended by seeing other men portrayed as dorks,(It seems most men found that funny, at least at first) while a significant portion (not necessarily a majority, but large enough to make a difference in sales) of prospective female customers were and apparently still are motivated to purchase products that they see as promoting gender “equity” (making up for past unflatering portrayals of women).

During a forum on T.V. violence held at my college during the mid 80’s I “went off topic” and asked an advertising executive this very question. “Why do we see so many dumb men in commercials these days.” After a long answer discussing the importance of humor in advertising and the increased pressure not to make fun of ANY group but white males, he finally admitted, we make fun of men because it sells.

The point of my question at the time was to point out that in the final estimation that is all that matters on T.V… Will something sell advertising, and by extension will it sell products. No one dares ask, is it good for people to watch all this violence? or is it good to portray women as ditzy meddling schemers (i.e. Lucy)or sex objects, or is it helpful to society, children or anyone else to portray men as bumbling idiots, incapable of cogent thought beyond their primal urges. If it sells put it on.

Ranting again, I apologize,
Ed

I’ll bet the producers and advertisers of CSI and it’s spin offs love the amount of viewers they get each week.

Just remember you are not forced to watch anything on TV.

When I had my first child I “killed the TV”.

We raised three intelligent, reading and thinking kids without the electronic baby sitter. They thank us for that too!

I say try it, you might like it!

jed

When my eyes are fatigued from tying fllies, or reading, or small work, and the energy levels wane, I like to hunker in the Laz-e-Boy and flip on the tube. Flip is the proper word here, cause it’s flip flip flip, trying to find anything worth watching for the $43 and chage I pay each month for the privilege. My wife wanted to record a girly flick last eve, and I was chosen to edit commercials, so I decided to time the commercials, and the content and see how they stacked up. Hour and a half program. 47 minutes of commercials, and the rest, movie. I thought I’d perish before it was over. Why? I ask myself. Why do I keep sending this not-so-small monthly check to these people, for something that is clearly detrimental to my well-being. Somebody poke me with something sharp, please. $520 per year would buy a pretty good flip-stick.


Lew

Somebody please look up the definition of “dork”!!! I can’t say that it would be appropriate to refer to my father as one of those…

not our kids we should worry about. They are under our tutelage, therefore, we should worry about what and how we are teaching them.
Got rid of broadcast tv two years ago. I am a voracious reader and can go places tv never could take me.