I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.
You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.
Sorry to have missed you, but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management.
I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
The e-mail server is unable to veri fy your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.’ (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over.)
Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in Approximately 19 weeks.
Hi. I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
Hi! I’m busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don’t bother to leave me any messages.
EXCELLANT! Very funny! :lol:
Some of those are basically true.
My son told me he didn’t like the message on my answering machine because I said that “I am not home”
He wanted me to say that I couldn’t come to the phone instead.
SOOOO…My new message is “I’m Sorry I Can’t Come To The Phone Right Now, I’m WASHING MY HAIR And As Soon As I’m Done I Will Give You A Call!”
It makes me laugh or smile every time a Telemarketer rings into my machine.
Doug
My neighbors says “Were not home, at the beep you know what to do”. The only thing is, it take about a minute for the beep to start. I think their feeling is, if it’s important, people who know them will wait for the beep, otherwise frustration sets in with the unwanted callers and they get a lot of hang ups.
Before I got Caller ID, I would answer the phone and hear “IS SHARON THERE?” This is my X and she hasn’t lived with me since April 05 and NEVER at my new phone # These calls went on for months.
Question? Is the MAN of the house home? I would say NO. Question? Is the HOMEOWNER there? I would say NO.
Everyone I knew raved about Caller ID and now I know why! I get control of my phone.
If everyone would leave the message that they are washing their hair, then the guys from India, selling satelite TV would be out of luck! and confused. They might think that Americans really take washing their hair SERIOUSLY! :shock:
Doug
You have reached the Zuehlsdorff Zoo however none of the animals are in their cages right now. As soon as the keeper rounds them up, or they get done with whatever they are doing, they will get back to you if you leave your name and number, thank you.
Have been threatened if we ever change it. :shock:
LOVE caller ID, If you can’t list yourself, I don’t answer.
Lew I wish I think fast enough to come up with a response like that for a telemarketer.I either hang straight up or say just a second i’ve got another call coming in and leave them on hold until they get bored and hang up.
Seller/Telemarketer/ calls, they always ask for me by my given, full name & I always answer…“Sorry I’m not home right now”…takes a few seconds before you hear the hang up click G
( do not approve of lying but this one is forgivable)
“You have reached the home of Dick & Jane. We’re out chasing Spot and can’t come to the phone right now. If you’ll leave your name and number we’ll call you back as soon as we catch the rascal.” And sometimes we change it to: " You have reached the home of Dick & Jane. We’re out looking for Zeke the hired hand and can’t come to the phone right now. If you’ll leave your name and number we’ll call you back as soon as we find that lazy bum."
Try this , its a ton of fun . When they go into their spiel say uh huh like your interested, Listen long enought so you can formulate a question about what they are selling, interrupt them and ask it. now most of them haven’t a clue about the product and are just reciting from a cheat sheet. this confuses them. Usually they start over from the start ,say uh uh again then have a little coffee, relax till you think they are comming to the end of their little speach , interrupt once more and say , Oh so sorry but the kids were fighting and I had to go put a stop to it. Could you repeat that?
My personal record is One guy repeated himself 4 times and was starting on the fifth when He finally clued in with , hey your just wasting my time aren’t you . Zinger time … Yes well aren’t you just wasting mine?
