I have been thinking of posting this for several days and decided what the h*ll go ahead and post…if the admins think it not appropriate PLEASE delete.
A little background:
I am a single father…took custody when my son was six and a half…always worried I wasn’t “measuring” up. Several weeks ago they found a spot on my right lung. I was devastated but tried to “man up”.Finally told my son last week. Got the results Monday…NOT CANCER. Told my son on Monday and we both broke down…this is the e-mail he sent me the day before. I am such a proud proud father…I think I did good.
Just wanted to share a JOY…
Hi Dad,
I have been thinking about you a lot today (all day) and wanted to reach out. Melissa and the Boys are going to Melissa’s parents, and I am hanging back at the house getting ready to do some things for work, but more important things first. YOU.
I Love You, Dad. Today, I broke down a bit in the garage while thinking of you. This is not the first time it has happened (that’s both recently happened. and in the past when I have had serious thoughts about My Dad.) Regardless of how the results turn out this week, I’m glad for one thing. This experience has forced me to reflect on, with real clarity, how important you are in my life, and now in the lives of the boys, too… Let me explain …
You make life better, Dad.
I’m tearing up as I write this sentence, and I’m telling you that so you know how much I mean it. I look forward everyday to speaking with you, and hearing your voice, “DOOOOOOONE!”. I have not told you how many times I have received comments and compliments from other people who have heare us on the pphone talking and them saying “I wish I had a relationship with my father llike you have with your Dad. You guys sound like you are really close.” And we are. Even when I’m busy at work and don’t have much time to catch up (or there are nosy people around). “You Dad sounds like a lot of fun.” And you are.
I know you’re always ready to have a laugh, or listen, or share. Your bring your love and pride, and caring for me and the Boys and Melissa, into every conversation.
Your bring your uniqueness … YOU … into our worlds and we’re the better for it. Indian motorcycles, “bad” Grandpa Doone fun, going 100 miles on a motorcycle with your trusting soon on the back, telling me to “jump”, introducing me to mountain biking, teaching the boys fly fishing (still to come) The times we’ve shared walking through the woods and hiking, and cross-country skiing. Everytime I drive by an Anita’s restaurant I smile. Going to play video games and have carrot cake. Looking for a place to live and talking out our options over lunch. Having pizza with my Dad, and learning how to rate the brownness of the crust and the friendliness of the service. Shooting a bow and arrow in a farmer’s field. Riding an ItalJet motorcycle through trails with my Dad. I think about all of the people you make smile at places like Bertucci’s, RJ Gators, and all of the people I have met and friends I have made because you’ve introduced me. All of my friends love you, too. They always ask about you. Especially the ladies. ; ) You have no idea how much you mean to me, Dad. I know you love me, Dad. You’ve always shown that.
And that letter for the Boys (about courage and being good in the world, and sticking up for what is right) right? I know we haven’t seen it yet, but I remember. I’m proud of you.
And it’s not just that we’ve had so many fun experiences together, and you’ve introduced me to great things and people, it’s that you are always there for me. You give me great advice, you’re always there to listen, I can always count on you for support, for a laugh, for guidiance. YOU ARE ALWAYS THERE FOR ME. That’s what being a Dad is always about. LOVE. You make me know I am loved Dad.
I wouldn’t be the person I am today without your influence and upbringing.
I can’t throw a baseball (yet), or toss a spiral, I’m not a competitive a-hole in life or in sports (you may diasagree! lol) but I love nature, I can draw, I love great music, I love my family, sunsets, sunrises, motorcycles, freedom and adventure, I’m kind of obsessed with the stock market, but I don’t love money. I love people, like you do. I believe in God, and have a lot of faith, (though I could do more to be active and participate). I walk to the beat of a different drum, and I like the beat.
Yes, we’ve had our ups and downs, but … who cares! I’ve often misunderstood your intentions, Dad, or been too quick to be defensive or, I don’t know what. Sometimes I think I’ve been too quick to stick to my proverbial guns. I apologize for all of that, and for any pain I may have caused you. You once threw me down on the floor while we were slap boxing and said … “You hate me don’t you.” I was absolutely dumb-founded. Nothing could be further, or more polar opposite from the truth. I Love you, Dad.
I Really Love You, you mean more to me than I can express. I love you more than you know, and I always have known I love you, which I hope has always been obvious, yet, now I’ve realized with even greater clarity how deeply I love you, Dad.
I Love You.
On a lighter note, I’ve been thinking about your commitment to granting me and Patty our activity wish list. I’m thinking of a few trips we can take. Like the Aplen Tour, or going to the Grand Canyon.
Regardless of how these tests turn out, I am glad I’ve had the chance to say I AM SO PROUD TO HAVE YOU AS MY DAD, I need you in my life, and in the life of the Boys, you are truly irreplaceable, you make my life better, and Diego, Dylan, and Melissa’s, and you have a tremendously positive and proffound impact on my happiness, and on the boys lives, too. Diego loves “Grandpa Doone.” “Grandpa Doone” sits here. I am happy you’re my Dad and I have the gift of sharing the gift of life with YOU.
I’M HERE FOR YOU, TOO DAD. You’ve always been there for me, and I want you to know I am here for you.
Love,
Pooch