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April 24th, 2000

Fishing the Global Village by Jack Ohman Let's take a quick, Fishing Bass-Acwards look at a recent sampling of the cable listings for TV fishing shows: (13) (FISHNET) KICKIN' BASS with "Scooter" Analvent. Join Scooter as he heads into Cambodia's rice paddies in the De-Ranger Bass Boat and kicks largemouth bass and commie ass. Scooter is joined by Cambodian bass guide Bhat Ton Rouge, who has a wide command of English than the Ol' Scootman. The "Mister Mister Twisted Sister Bassin' Blisterer" lure will be field-tested in a monsoon and under light-to-moderate small arms fire. (16) (PBS) THE AIRBORNE ANGLER. The Airborne Angler travels this week to the Tigris and Euthrates to jig for walleyes as the ancient Egyptians did 3,000 years ago. Then we travel to the Soviet Union's world-famous Chernobyl radioactive sloughs for crappie fishing with Mikhail Gorbachev, and then on to the North Pole for ice fishing through the ice cap with the grandchilden of Admiral Peary. Make possible by a grant from the John T. and Catherine D. MacArthur Foundation, the Chubb Groups of Insurance Companies, and Al's House O'Minnows Tackle Shop. (24) (FIN-SPN) THE PHYSICS OF FISHING 201 with Dr. Normark Rapala. Dr. Rapala demonstrates leech fishing while using whale noises to call in unsuspecting walleyes, and tests the tensile strength of crappie lips with the aid of the space shuttle Atlantis crew. With charts, graphs, tables, quadritic polynomials, Boolean algebra, quantum mechanics, space-based laser technology, Ground Wave Electronics Networks, free-radicals, rogue genes, and really, really big numbers. Companion workbook available at small arrogant private Eastern college bookstores. Four credits. M-Th-F. ~ Jack Ohman Excerpt from Fishing Bass-Ackwards, published by Willow Creek Press, Minocqua, WI. Lighter Side Archive