Why Dumb People Catch More Trout
Than Smart People
by Ed Zern
From To Hell With Fishing published by
Appleton, 1945
If you hang around Charley's Hotel Rapids on the Brodheads Creek,
or Frank Keener's Antrim Lodge on the Beaverkill, and pay close
attention to the inmates, you will notice that the lamer the brain, the
heavier the creel.
The reason for this is very simple. When a fisherman gets to the stream
he looks it over and decides where he would go if he were a fish. Then
he takes out his worm can or his fly-box and decides which worm or which
fly he would prefer if he were a fish.
Then he drifts the worm or casts his fly into the spot he has decided on. If
he catches a fish, he is very proud, because he knows he thinks like a fish.
And naturally, fishermen who think like fish catch more trout than fishermen
who think like armadillos or duck-billed platypuses or mongooses.
Of course, the reason a fish thinks the way he does is that his brain is very
tiny in relationship to his body. So the tinier the fisherman's brain the easier
it is for him to think like a fish, and catch trout right and left.
The same principle explains why fishermen with big mouths catch the most
large-mouth bass, and fishermen with banjo eyes catch the most walleyed
pike, and fishermen with jaundice catch the most yellow perch, and so forth.
The virgin sturgeon has never been caught on rod and reel. ~ Ed Zern
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