The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational
once again asked readers to take any word from
the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting,
or changing one letter, and supplying a new
definition.
Here are this year's winners:
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax
refund, which lasts until you realize it was
your money to start with.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding
stupid people that stops bright ideas from
penetrating. The Bozone layer, unfortunately,
shows little sign of breaking down in the near
future.
Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about
yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a
house, which renders the subject financially
impotent for an indefinite period.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very,
very high.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of
sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously
when you are running late.
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
(This one got extra credit.)
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody
is sending off all these really bad vibes, right?
And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like,
a serious bummer.
Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting
through the day consuming only things that are good
for you.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas
to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance
performed just after you've accidentally walked
through a spider web.
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito,
that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning
and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after
finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
And the pick of the bunch:
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and
an asshole.
