SOME RAMBLINGS of a RETIRED MIND
Sent in by Al Campbell
I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is
those cell phones that everyone has clipped on.
I can't afford one so I'm wearing my
garage door opener.
You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant
before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.
I was thinking that women should put
pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!
I was thinking about old age and decided
that it is when you still have something
on the ball but you are
just too tired to bounce it.
I thought about making a fitness movie for
folks my age and call it "Pumping Rust."
I have gotten that dreaded furniture
disease...that's when your chest is falling into
your drawers!
You know when people see a cat's litter
box, they always say, "Oh, have you got
a cat?" Just once I wanted
to say, "No, it's for company!"
Employment application blanks always ask
who is to be notified in case of an emergency.
I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!"
Why do they put pictures
of criminals up in the Post Office?
What are we supposed to do . . . write to
these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on
the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they
delivered the mail?
I was thinking about how people seem to
read the Bible a whole lot more as they get
older then it dawned on me...they were cramming
for their finals. As for me, I'm just hoping
God grades on the curve.
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