You Might Be A Fly Fisherman, If...
By Al Campbell
This is the very first column in our Lighterside section, June 1st, 1998,
and the first humor article on FAOL by Al Campbell. Al did write other
articles for FAOL before this one, but this was the beginning of
our Lighterside!
Have you reached a summit in the sport of fly fishing? Are
you qualified to call yourself a "fly fisherman"? If you're not
sure, I've developed a simple test you can take to find out if
you qualify for this title. Take a moment to complete this short
test. You might be surprised by the results.
- If your buddy tells you your fly is open and you have to
ask if there is another way to attach the wings, you might be a
fly fisherman.
- If the map is describing an off ramp to the freeway, and
the only loop you're familiar with is in your back cast, you just
might be a fly fisherman.
- If the only indicators you know how to use have the word
"strike" in front of them, you might be a fly fisherman.
- When your friend who's been taking flying lessons
mentioned he finally got his wings, if you asked if he tied them
upright or swept, you might be a fly fisherman.
- If the only royalty you read about has the word "Wulff"
attached to it, you might be a fly fisherman.
- When your geometry teacher asked if anyone could
describe a triangle, if you spent the next fifteen minutes
describing a fly line taper, you might be a fly fisherman.
- During a recent job interview when the potential
employer asked if you had any bad vices, if you told him you
gave that vise to your son and purchased a new rotary one
that really holds a hook, you might be a fly fisherman.
- If your definition of a downrigger is a bead on the head of
a nymph to get it down fast, you might be a fly fisherman.
- If the only Latin you're familiar with has something to do
with the names of bugs, you might be a fly fisherman.
- You just might be a fly fisherman if your favorite winter
jacket has lots of pockets and a fly patch.
- During a recent history exam, when the question read
"What is the historical significance of Siberia?" If you answer
was "big fish that haven't seen a fly before", you might be a
fly fisherman.
- If your idea of a cultural exchange is a fly swap, you just
might be a fly fisherman.
- If your favorite shirt has a rod holder tab, you might be a
fly fisherman.
- If your vacation pictures have more fish, water and bugs
in them than people, you might be a fly fisherman.
- When your wife was cooking a turkey and sent you to the
store for some sage for the dressing, if you returned with a
Sage fly rod, you might be a fly fisherman.
- You might be a fly fisherman if your favorite boat has the
word "drift" in its description.
On the other hand, if you're spending your time reading
this, you just might be a fly fisherman. ~ Al Campbell
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