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It was the spring of 1996 when I started
fly-fishing. I started out very conservatively
using an old fly rod given to me by my father-in-law,
a reel that even Pflueger couldn't identify, and
some line that I'm sure was older than my adult
children.
I did purchase a pair of inexpensive neoprene
waders and some flies from the local fly shop.
With all the confidence I could muster I went
to the nearest river and mimicked what I had
observed real fly fisherman doing. I put on my
waders, strung my rod, and put this cute little
fly on the end of the line. I am good to go.
What I wasn't aware of about myself was that
moving water going across my legs scared the
day lights out of me. After about an hour of
holding onto some nearby branches, losing
three flies and catching nothing I decided
this was not for me.
After contemplating this dilemma of the moving
water for several weeks, I figured that a small
creek would suit me much better, boy was I
surprised that even ankle to calf high water
gave me the same uncomfortable sensation the
river did.
Well, I have very little invested in this
experience, so I chalked it up to another
idea that wasn't very good and got on with
my summers activities. In late August of that
same year, my wife bought me a U-boat, you know
an inner tube type of floatation device that is
open in the front and you sit in for fishing in
lakes. Not wanting to disappoint her about my gift
I gathered my meager fly-fishing equipment together
the next Saturday and went to a nearby urban lake
and to my utter surprise, I caught three fish. WOW,
this was the most fun I had ever had. I was able to
fish that little lake several times that summer and
fall and by the first snow, I was hooked on still
water fly-fishing.
One of the problems with still water fly-fishing
in a U-boat is that you sit in the water above your
kidneys and when the waters cold it makes you have
to go to the bathroom, a lot. There seemed to be
no solution to this problem.
The winter of 96-97 was one of the worst snow years
the Pacific Northwest had ever experienced; this is
not good for the back but does give a lot of
opportunity for reading, which I did. I read anything
and everything that I could find on stillwater fly
fishing and I started fly tying that winter.
One of the articles I read stated that for middle-aged
men with prostate problems that the use of an external
catheter would extend the time you were in the water
fishing. You know, not having to get out of the water
every 30 minutes to go to the bathroom. In all my reading
that winter that was the best and most practical advice
I had read.
It was about the middle of February when I decided I
would leave work early and go fishing at the lake.
There was still about a foot of snow on the ground but
there was a half -acre section of the lake that was
free of ice. On the way home, I stopped at the Medical
Supply store, which is the only place you can buy an
external catheter. For whatever reason these types of
stores only employ women, which under normal circumstances
wouldn't be a problem, but this item has to be purchased
by size.
I take my purchase home and prepare for my afternoon
of fishing. I open the package and remove the catheter
and the accompanying bag, read the instructions and
attach all parts to my body. The instructions were very
clear, stating that, "If catheter is to be worn for
an extended period of time a water soluble lubricant
should be applied between catheter and skin". Well,
I'm only going to be gone for an hour or two so the
lubricant shouldn't be necessary. I then encase my
body in several layers of clothes and pry myself into
my waders. I have so many clothes on I look like the
Pillsbury Dough Boy and I find driving is difficult
but I manage to get to the lake. I grab my fly rod,
U-boat and fins out of the pickup and start tromping
through the snow to the unfrozen part of the lake.
I fished for almost an hour when the inevitable
call of nature happened, but I was prepared. The
freedom that my external catheter gave me was
wonderful and I knew this was the answer to my
many previous concerns. I was very surprised
when after 20 minutes of fishing my leg and foot
were feeling damp. I was sure the pressure from
the waders had put undue pressure on the bag and it
had sprung a leak. This seemed like a good time to
go home. Upon removing the waders and all the clothing,
I removed the offending bag from my leg, discovering
the manufacturer had not shut the drain valve off
all the way. Now I am ready to remove the actual
catheter portion. When I had read the instructions
prior to attaching the catheter, I had read but not
comprehended that it had also said that the catheter
was "SELF ADHESIVE." My, oh my, this turned out
to be a major problem. As it turns out the only
way to remove it is to cut it off my body. After
a couple of weeks of healing I am prepared to try
his external catheter thing again, but this time
I'm ready with some lubricant to place between the
catheter and skin. It seems that I may have been a
little over zealous to not experience the same fate
I had experienced a few weeks earlier and I may have
applied just a bit to much lubricant because I still
ended up with a wet foot.
The packaging for the catheter came with three catheters
and one bag; needless to say I still have one catheter
in my dresser drawer as a remembrance of this experience. ~ Jack
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