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January 11th, 1998
'Experts Unite'
You may have noticed lately there are some athletes
getting ready to start an abbreviated season and make lots of money. Now,
I am not much of a fan of indoor sports, and playing catch with a large ball
while attired in my underwear gives me no solace. I guess I feel real people
go outdoors for real recreation. However it has occurred to me I may be
missing a lot of money to which I and some of the rest of you may be due.
This does not include those of you who are just average, run-of-the-mill
fly-fishers. Here, I am referring to those of 'us' who stand head-and-shoulders
above the rabble of the fly-fishing society. 'We,' the 'experts.'
I first off, find it inconceivable that 'we' do not yet have
our own 'union.' I shall address this post-haste, if not sooner. A union such
as the 'National Brook Anglers.' In short we could simply call it the NBA.
'We' cannot be expected to bargain for 'our' modest salaries all by 'ourselves;'
'we' are far too busy and valuable for that. It does seem that when 'we' are on
a stream, that for the mundane of the fly-fishing world to be allowed to observe
and enjoy beholding 'our' marvelous excellence with which 'we' ply our
avocation it is genuinely and patently wrong to do so with out having to pay
a handsome price for the, indeed, privilege!
I also imagine 'we' should as members of the NBA be
allowed to wear certain articles of clothing, 'uniforms, such as they may be,
so as to heighten and further distinguish ourselves from the ordinary fly-fishers.
Certainly 'we' should have our own 'private water' to practice our methods
and talents. There could be yearly contests of small groups of us to add even
more enthusiasm, and at the same time further devoid the pockets of the poorer
fly-fishers as they fight for seats on the stream-banks to cheer us on. 'We'
could start these 'tournaments' very early in the season so it seemed like there
was hardly any season at all, just the unending round-after-round-after round
of 'tournaments.' These, of course would bring in the necessary monies to pay
our union dues and our modest salaries.
Yes, this would be just for us 'professionals,' the rest
of you would have to be content to simply watch and lament the fact you
were not born with the marvelous talents such as 'ours.' And watch you
would, by the hundreds of thousands, millions perhaps. It could be a yearly
T.V. event covered so the whole world could benefit from observing our
great skills and bring in even more monies for 'our' modest salaries. Just
imagine how popular and famous the NBA could someday become if 'we'
could just form our own union!
I'll close for now as it is nearly time for another of
my weekly electro-shock-therapy treatments and I think my medication
is starting to wear off as well. They are so nice to me here.~ JC
Till next week, remember ...
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