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These days you can't do anything without a tool, usually
a new and improved one at that. I am now happy to bring
you such a thing. The long awaited but as of yet un-invented,
but highly necessary, and hard to believe it hasn't been
thought up yet, the instrument for accomplishing the nearly
impossible to do all by ones self, the 'Double-haul-devise.'
The world has langered long over such a boon to fly fishing.
Long are the wails of those uncoordinated, the lost souls
of short-castitis, the guys who just can't get it out there.
Ofttimes the temptation of strong drink has been the only
respite of those so doomed. No longer will they languish
in those groups of casters referred to as 'child-like'
casting distances. They will be able to 'Play with the
big boys'. When the desire to get a cast upstream, they
will forever be able 'to get it up,' This revolutionary
device will revolutionize their fly-fishing and the
revolving question of whether or not to pull, push or
shove it.
Learning the double-haul is nearly impossible, as we all
know. Perhaps one in five thousand can perform it, two
percent nearly correctly and half of them don't care as
they are too old to fly fish anymore. With the new
'Double-haul Device,' not only can the corordinationly
challenged, (which includes most of the American male
population) learn to perform the move but can continue
to do it into advancing ages.
Most machines are too heavy to be of any value, not
so with the 'Double-Haul Devise,' nearly weightless,
it can easily be stored in the watch pocket of any
Montana tuxedo (blue jeans). Although one might think
they could just look at the pictures here,
you will find you of course can not. The secret is in
the carefully engineered items and their exact placement
on the line. There is no baling wire, duck(t)-tape,
(nor were any injured in the making of these) or
bubble gum involved. What appears to be baling twine,
however, is.
The first thing you may notice is the sliding ring.
This is one of the marvels of the devise. As it slides
along the shaft of the fly rod. Another serious element
is that little clip. What about that. And the snap is
just perfect. Marvelous. The velcro tape at the end is
of course absolutely necessary for the attachment. Now,
here is the good part. I am throwing this open to all.
I am not even thinking of applying for a patent, which
of course would most certainly be granted. And the retail
price is only $14.95. (Slightly higher west of the Rockies)
What could be more fair for a tool which makes learning
so simple a cave-man could do it and which would facilitate
the near flawless performance of the style enhancing double-haul.
Yes, my good friends, be the first on your block to jump
on the bandwagon and get yours today. Don't wait.
Quantities are limited. Send in the coupon to the
address included. And, coming soon, the 'new, advanced,
improved, lighter, faster, bigger and better,
'Deluxe Double-Haul Davice.' (D.D.H.D.)
Your friend in better casting, ~ James Castwell
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