Lighter Side

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March 6th, 2000

The Trout Fishing Technocracy

by Jack Ohman
From: Fear of Fly Fishing

Sometime in the evolution of the sport of fly fishing - I place the exact date at July 20, 1969, the day men landed on the moon - fly fishing became inexplicably arcane and loaded with technological jargon.

Fly fishermen can be divided into two broad groups: those who really don't know what an 800 grain WF-6-S is, and those who do. The those-who-do group are the fly-fishing technocrats.

Fly-fishing technocrats have to make everything complicated. You can't just say to a fly-fishing technocrat, "Tie on a brown nymph, will ya?" You have to say, "Manually implement an Ephemeroptra paradigm, will ya?" They know every Latin name of every bug - they hate it when you call a fly a "bug" - and give you a look like you didn't prep at the right school if you refer to your rod as a pole.

They also know that a 7X leader tippet is .004 inches in diameter, how many feet per second the river is flowing, and what the pH level in the water is. They own LED digital landing nets. Listening to the fly-fishing technocrat talk about fishing is about like listening to Mission Control: "Yeah, I got an anomaly in my 6X so I'm retying a 5X and putting a terrestrial on."

Roger. Copy, over and out. ~ Jack Ohman

If you like Jack's fly fishing humor, be sure to look for his new book, GET THE NET! published by Willow Creek.

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