Yuffies, Hippies, Geezers and Worm Drowners
by JackOhman
From
Fear of Fly Fishing
We thank Jack Ohman for use permission.
NAME: Alton "Buzz" Bondo
OCCUPATION: Unemployable
RESIDENCE: Toledo, Ohio, Mobile Villa Garden Estates
AGE: 39 [looks 55]
QUOTE: "Hey, you wanna catch fish, or dontcha? Pass the
cheeze hooks."
Buzz is a major presence at the U-Ketchum Trout Pond off County
Road B. Ohio doesn't have any indigenous trout except those that
live in aquariums, so the U-Ketchum is a big attraction for the fly-fishing
impaired.
Buzz is usually relaxed - okay, anesthetized - so he doesn't really
fish for the pure relaxation of it all. It's just another way to get
away from his wife (Babs, Beauty Consultant, Miss Maumee River
Third Place runner-up, 1966), and kids (Alton Jr., 17, Du Wayne, 16,
Wayne Lee, 15, Earl, 13, Shirl, 12, and Bobbie Lou, 11).
Buzz ties fly patterns of his own creation: The Cheez Whiz,
Velveeta Special, Kraft's Hopper, Doughball Coachman, Corn
Doctor, Maize Quill, Gold-Ribbed Onion Mallow, and the old
reliable Night's Crawler.
Buzz caught 320 trout last year at 50 cents a whack, which
is about 800 times cheaper than Elliot's [see last week] per-fish
cost ratio. ~ Jack Ohman
If you like Jack's fly fishing humor, be sure to look for his new book,
GET THE NET! published by Willow Creek.
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