- Birds of a feather flock together ... and
then crap on your car.
- A penny saved is a government oversight.
- The real art of conversation is not only
to say the right thing at the right time,
but also to leave unsaid, the wrong thing
at the tempting moment.
- The older you get, the tougher it is to
lose weight, because by then your body and
your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
- The easiest way to find something lost
around the house is to buy a replacement.
- He who hesitates is probably right.
- Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals
for forty (40) are " XL."
- If you think there is good in everybody,
you haven't met everybody.
- If you can smile when things go wrong,
you have someone in mind to blame.
- The sole purpose of a child's middle name
is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
- There's always a lot to be thankful for
if you take time to look for it. For example,
I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that
wrinkles don't hurt.
- Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words,
"The" and "IRS" together, they spell "Theirs."
