Seven Steps To Successful Fly Tying
By Frank Reid
Take it one step at a time. Like me, I
tried to do fly fishing on the cheap. I love
the sport but, due to the nature of military
service (ya think I was in it for the money?)
I couldn't afford all those nice things off
the bat, so I've been slowly building up (read
terminal gear collector after many years).
Tying flies. I decided to learn to tie flies
'cause it had to be cheaper than buying those
little bitty things. If you get the urge to tie
flies to save yourself some money, here is my
foolproof 7 step plan to tying flies:
Step 1: Find a nice comfortable seat at a table.
Put something like plexiglass over a 2x2 foot area
of the table to protect it from damage. Do not use
a clamp vise on your dining room table. The spouse
will find the damage, trust me.
Step 2: Get something to keep yourself organized.
I use an old ashtray (don't smoke anymore) to keep
small things in 'cause it has nice little indents
in the sides to keep all my tools.
Step 3: Reach into your bag and get the duct tape
that you keep handy for those fishing emergencies.
Step 4: Have some one (you trust) tie you to the
chair using the duct tape. Ensure that all is secure
and a piece goes over your mouth.
Step 5: Have that person reach into you back pocket,
take out your wallet and burn all the money in there
in the ashtray.
Step 6: Send the person off to the ATM to max out
your cards. Please make sure he has your PIN numbers
before he ties you up.
Step 7: Have your buddy burn all the money from the
ATM in the ashtray while screaming "Fly tying, Bad!"
over and over again. Voila! You're done!
This simple 7 step plan will save you the time that
you'll spend hanging out in petting zoos trying to
trim that yak, stopping for road kill on a charcoal
black ground squirrel and expounding ad nauseum on
how unfair the penalty for importing polar bear pelts
is to a true fly tying artist. I won't even go into
the prices that people pay for a chicken skin. Or the
problems that can occur when an improperly stored road
kill has its own "hatch." (never, my God, never mention
maggots to my wife). Burning your money in one swell
foop is also cheaper in the long run. It gets it out of
your system quickly and is good for your neighborhood fly
merchant.
The Reid Seven-Step-Method is available as a book on tape.
~ Frank Reid
About Frank:
Born and raised in Southern California, my mother
taught me to love fishing. I would fish from the
piers around Los Angeles as all my friends hung out
on the beach. At age 19, I joined the U.S. Air
Force to see the world and liked what I saw, so
stayed in for 23 years, finally retiring in 2000.
I've lived and fished all over the US and the globe,
from the deserts of California to the Philippines,
Germany, South Korea, England, beautiful Omaha,
Nebraska and about 1,000 other places in between.
These travels taught me to fish for whatever happens
to be in the local water. I now work in the Baltimore
area as a computer consultant trying to earn
enough to buy that next new rod or go on that next trip.
My wife is Brenda (who's quilting addiction rivals my
fly fishing/tying obsession) and we have two lovely
daughters. ~ FR
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