We need some laughs here !!!

[Uncle Jesse]

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

[Uncle Jesse]

Prayer for Senility - God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered: * I started out with nothing, I still have most of it. * My wild oats have turned to prunes and All Bran. * I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart. * Funny, I don't remember being absent minded ... * If all is not lost, where is it? * It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser. * Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant. * I wish the buck stopped here. I sure could use a few ... * Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids. * It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. * Only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom. * If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees. * When you're finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess? * It's not hard to meet expenses ... they're everywhere.