Joe,
My heart truly aches for you. One never really knows what to say at times like this, so please forgive me if my words are empty and bring you no comfort.
A few years ago I was standing on the rocks during low tide at the Strand in South Africa. I was playing 'Flowers of the Forest' on my bagpipes for my father as he wept. He had asked my to play it, but didn't say why. When I was done I asked him why. He said that it was his way of saying farewell to all the friends he lost in the Rhodesian War (we are from S.A. originally). It was one of the very few times I've ever seen my dad that emotional. We had one of those good, deep chats about life and death as we walked down the beach.
...My experience in S.A., in regards to funerals, is that they tend to look at death a little differently...with that said, as we walked and talked, dad explained to me why. To paraphrase; a funeral is to celebrate the deceased's life...I mean to truly celebrate it. My dad said to me that God brings people into our lives for many different reasons. Some are there for but a moment, others for all our days, and others fall somewhere in-between. But the secret to mourning their loss, is to celebrate what they are to us. I've pondered our conversation many times since then, and have come to realize the truth to that statement. The best thing about a friendship like that, is that it never dies...the memories live on in our lives and hearts forever. It is easy to see that his friendship is greatly cherished by all those that knew him, and it always will be, to me, thats something to celebrate! With that said, it's ok to miss him too.
Like I said, it's hard to know what to say in times like this. I normally wouldn't say much of anything, but I felt led to share this with you. I hope you find some comfort in my words.
TT.
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