The decision to let her die

[Dot Man]

Before I head to Virginia I wanted to thank you all for your thoughts, advice and sympathy. It truely helps at a time like this. Hospice care begins today for my mom and they will do all they can to make her comfortable.

Jerry

[white43]

May God bless the hospices and those who have the gift to work in them. This is a good move, Jerry. Our prayers are with you and your mother, your whole family. JGW

[bassman]

Jerry my prayers and those of my church go out for you and your family. May God Bless all of you. John

[Midge Man]

I went through the same thing with my father. he was diagnosed with a form of cancer that was more aggressive than originally expected. The treatment wiped out his kidneys and they were putting him through hell trying to get him to the point where he could re-start therapy. KNowing that it would only lead to a more painful death he told them to stop. That was a hard day. Over the next week we all said our goodbyes, laughed cried, etc. He passed away while I was talking to him (my mom was holding the phone to his ear). Although I know he died with dignity, it was still very tough.

As for your question about allowing someone to die and assisting them in dying, I have my own views on that which relate to my religious faith and I don't believe it is correct to assist someone in taking their own life. However, being a simple minded fisherman/human, there is a pretty darn good chance that I am wrong. I think someone earlier hit the nail on the head, if you are acting out of love then who can judge? My heart and prayers go out to you and your family in this time.

[nighthawk]

Jerry,
My heart is breaking for you. Let your heart rest easy in the knowledge that you have done the right thing by your mother. You may or may not realize it right now but what you are doing is a heroic act of selflessness. You have put her needs before yours and in my belief that makes you the salt of the earth. Jerry, there is no greater love than the love you are giving her by ending her suffering. She will not be in pain as the Hospice nurses will do everything possible to make her comfortable. She will soon be in paradise.

You are in my prayers. If there is anything I can do just call or email me and I will be there for you.

Oh Lord, as your humble servant, I beseech thee, I beg thee, reach out to Jerry, his mom and their family with your loving hands. Please, oh Lord, ease the suffering of Jerry's mom in her hour of need. I pray that God's will be done. Lord, please ease the aching of Jerry's heart with your ever lasting love and the knowledge that he has done right by his mom. Please, oh Lord, bathe them in the Holy light of your eternal love. I weep with thee for Jerry, his mom and family. In the name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.

[SilverMallard]

Jerry,

A couple of months ago, the docs told my mom that she had a few months to live without dialysis, or up to a couple of years with regular dialysis. She made the choice not to have the dialysis. I was the first of her 6 children she told and she came up to spend a week in her Branson condo with me right away. We all knew it would likely be our last extended visit together. We tied up a lot of loose ends...the stuff that most adult children have with their parents and vice versa. She then made the rounds to the rest of my siblings' homes. This is how she wants it. And now we wait...

The doctors explained to her that the end will be ugly. She was unswayed. She says the end will be ugly either way, so that's a non-issue.

Yes, when a team of competent medical professionals working with the family and patient have determined that death is inevitable and imminent...there will be no improvement in quality of life...and the patient's wishes are known; it seems inhumane to me that these medical professionals cannot administer a peaceful, respectful, and controlled demise.

Then again, we pay baseball players $20 million bucks for a 4-year contract to play a kid's game and our soldiers dying in Iraq and Afghanistan support their families on food stamps. So our priorities and value judgments are pretty screwed up all the way around.

I wish you and yours peace. And I hope she passes very, very easily.

[MamaD]

Hi, most of you don't know me, I am Jerry's girl friend.

I am so sad...

I was supposed to go with Jerry to help him in Virginia with all this, and I received an email at 11:30 at work this morning, that he had left work and was leaving for Virginia in 30 mins, the Hospice workers don't think his Mom will make it until tomorrow.

I feel horrid not being there to help him through this...

Thanks to everyone for making him feel better with all your kind words and prayers, he was feeling horrible about making this decision, all your words helped him very much...

So now he is down there doing this all alone...say a prayer that she goes peacefully....

Thank you all....
Debbie

[nighthawk]

And for you too, Debbie. All are in our thoughts and prayers.

[ohiotuber]

Hi Deb,
You know that you all are in my prayers here in Ohio. Even though you aren't with Jerry right now, rest assured he knows you are there in spirit, & will be there in the future.
God Bless,
Mike

[Betty Hiner]

Debbie,
My prayers are with you, at home, and with Jerry and his Mom in Virginia.
Betty