Prayer for Senility - God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered: * I started out with nothing, I still have most of it. * My wild oats have turned to prunes and All Bran. * I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart. * Funny, I don't remember being absent minded ... * If all is not lost, where is it? * It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser. * Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant. * I wish the buck stopped here. I sure could use a few ... * Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids. * It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. * Only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom. * If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees. * When you're finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess? * It's not hard to meet expenses ... they're everywhere.
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