Lighter Side
December 13th, 1999
Falling In
by John Engels

Excerpt from: Big Water
Published by Lyons & Burford, New York, NY
We thank Nick Lyons for use permission!

At my age gone awkward
having forgotten everything
I ought to have remembered
about keeping balance, I fall off the boat
trying to board the dinghy,
like in a Buster Keaton bit, the dinghy
skidding away and swamping and my legs

spreading, till in I go, and come up
kicking and sputtering, then find I can't
make it back into the boat, grab hold
of the high gunwale, and heave, but can't
get leaverage, chin myself
a dozen times till I think
I've lost my breath for good, and end up
clinging to the ruddler, exhausted, beginning to feel

the cold, the knowledge dawning
that I'm in trouble, big trouble. But I wait,
thinking something has to happen
to get me out of this, though I can't think
what it might be. But I'm wrong, nothing
happens, time

drags, and it's cold, it's cold
too early to be swimming, too far to swim,
too deep to wade in, nothing happens and I try
waiting it out, but it goes on too long,
and nothing to do but after a long time
give up - whereupon I yell, holler,
bellow for help, loud
and bitterly ashamed. And after all

there's some guy working on his boat
who hears me and comes down
to the end of the dock and spots me
and rows out and saves me, and that's
the end of it. After he's gone,
I stand here on the dock,
dripping to a cold puddle
thinking it over, and trying to name

how I'm feeling - not
relief, no remnant fear
or after-fear, but mainly
embarrassment, the tag-end
of something like boredom, a growing cold,
most of it left over from out there, and still growing,

but give it up and go out
to retrieve the dinghy, retrieve
some of the duffel, find one oar,
and a floating glove,
but I'm cold, and leave the rest
to drift in in its own time,
and all the way home, the cold
hanging on, my calves knotting

with cold, the world
ashiver, I begin
thinking to myself, I'm
in trouble, this
is going to take
a long time, what do I do
until it's over? ~John Engels

About John Engels

John Engels has taught English Literature at St. Michaels's College in Winooski, Vermont for many years. He is the author of five books of poetry, including The Homer Mitchell Place, Vivaldi in Early Fall, and Weather-Fear, for which he was a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize. He is recognized as one of America's finest poets. He lives in Burlington, Vermont.





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Rising Spirits by Dave Salamone
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Plunge Pool Brookie by Dave Motes
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The Disconnections by John Engels
Damselfly, Trout, Heron by John Engels
Why I Fly-Fish by Ernie Harrison
Oh, what a Day by David P. Salamone
Memories of More than One by David P. Salamone
Mudtrapped by John Engels
What I Leave Behind by David P. Salamone
The Way It Was by Ernie Harrison
Awakening by David P. Salamone
Eros Tyrannos by James Armstrong
Genesee River by David P. Salamone
There Is More by Ken Abrames
New York by David P. Salamone
Reflection by David P. Salamone
Last Waltz by David P. Salamone
Equanimity by Ken Abrames
Deadpool by John Engels
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This Earth by Gwen Frostic
On Waters' Edge by D.P. Salamone
Truth or Tale? by D.P.Salamone
When Rod and Line Again Appear by D.P.Salamone
Too Soon by D.P.Salamone
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The Switch by D.P. Salamone
At Night On The River by John Engles
Rainbows False-Spawning by John Engles
Hatch by John Engels
My Choice by Geno Loro
Falling In by John Engles
The Guardian of the Lakes at Notre Dame by John Engels
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Looking For Water by John Engels
Gutting Bluefish by John Engels
The Storm by John Engles
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