Lighter Side
September 24th, 2001
Mind Farts & Memory Exercises
By Joseph Heywood

It's one of those mysteries
attaching to the double-nickel crowd,
how short-term memory kangaroos,
reducing life to earthbound
questions, shamusinquiries
about sunshades, eyeglasses,
my right wading boot,
the hat last seen in Edie's Log Cabin
Bar when we contracted Karaoke fever,
bellowing "I got friends in low! places,"
reading the words off a VDT
hung from the ceiling like a fat black bat
and later Robochef sits on a grass mound
above the Birch Run
trying to tie on a #20 something, looks up, asks,
You got those flip-down clip-on magnifier doohickies?

I know I put them in my vest, I know this.
In the vest they went, a vest so loaded with dupes
And trips it would serve as Kevlar against
Incursive lead,
It's in the vest, you know, with:
five lighters, two clippers, a notebook and pen,
the H2O-proof camera & xtra 400 ASA film,
a couple of small lights to find the trail
in the woods after dark,
two pliers, two forceps,
a half-dozen fly boxes held together with rubber bands,
a purple rabbits foot,
amber and gray lens sunglasses,
a net on my back with two connecting gizmos.
a brace of watches, an extra Croakie,
tippet spools from 0X to 8X,
both extremes unlikely to ever be used,
a spool with sinking line, a rain jacket stuffed in the back pouch,
two measuring tapes, and
a tube of strike indicators and split shot.

I stand there patting myself down
hoping for the easy find,
finally resort to opening Velcro pocket flaps and secret compartments and
on the eighth or ninth try, find it and hold it out to Robo, thinking
I have to get an extra oneójust in case.
Robo grins through his Muslim whiskers,
How come you carry all that crap?
It's good for the memory, I say.
You want the damn doohickey or not, you ungrateful SOB? ~ Joe Heywood


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Rising Spirits by Dave Salamone
Shadow Jungle or Pike? by Dave Motes
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Breaking by Dave Motes
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Damselfly, Trout, Heron by John Engels
Why I Fly-Fish by Ernie Harrison
Oh, what a Day by David P. Salamone
Memories of More than One by David P. Salamone
Mudtrapped by John Engels
What I Leave Behind by David P. Salamone
The Way It Was by Ernie Harrison
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Eros Tyrannos by James Armstrong
Genesee River by David P. Salamone
There Is More by Ken Abrames
New York by David P. Salamone
Reflection by David P. Salamone
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At Night On The River by John Engles
Rainbows False-Spawning by John Engles
Hatch by John Engels
My Choice by Geno Loro
Falling In by John Engles
The Guardian of the Lakes at Notre Dame by John Engels
Foote Brook by John Engels
Looking For Water by John Engels
Gutting Bluefish by John Engels
The Storm by John Engles
Muskrat by John Engels
Thunder River by John Engels
Forever by D.P. Salamone
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The Crows by John Engles
To Love a Stream by F. Thomas
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Age Lessening by D.P. Salamone
Spring Fever by AF Westervelt
FlyTying by W.J. Mallory
FAOL Fish-In Friendship by D.P. Salamone
Acronyms by D.P. Salamone
Signs of a Highway by W.J. Mallory
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A Hunters Poem unknown
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You're On the Miramichi by William T. Griffin
The Photograph by John Engles
Flye Fishing by L A Garcia
Green Bay Flies by John Engles
T.R.O.U.T. by DP Salamone
Beyond The Fly by DP Salamone
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Individuality by Gwen Frostic
Wa'al I'll be Durn by Francis H. Buzzacott
The Salmon Leap by Francis H. Buzzacott
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When the Bull-Heads Bite by Francis H. Buzzacott
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author unknown
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(unknown) by Alfred Lord Tennison
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Freedom Isn't Free unknown
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The Auld Fisher's Farewell to the River Coquet By Thomas Doubleday
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Words You Never Tell a Guide By Joseph Haywood
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First Night at Camp Fish Head By Joseph Haywood
I Am the Flag of the United States of America
Untitled By Whitier
The Fisherman By Jack Schweigert
Retail Night Before Christmas By Al Campbell
Splitting Oak on Motherís Day By Joe Heywood
Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Fly Rod By Eugena Pilek
In Flanders Fields By John McCrae
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The Story of The Christmas Guest By Helen Steiner Rice
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An Old Scottish Poem
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