Lighter Side
What is life if there is not laughter? Welcome to the lighter side of flyfishing! We welcome your humorous stories here!
November 29th, 1999


by JackOhman
From Fear of Fly Fishing
We really sincerely thank Jack Ohman for use permission.

    ACTION - What you don't get after fishing all day with your new $700 fly-fishing outfit.

    ATTRACTOR FLY - A fly that attracts so much attention that it scares the bejesus out of the trout.

    BACKING - As in Financial backing, which is what you need to begin fly fishing.

    BANK - Where you go to get financial backing to begin fly fishing.

    BAR - Where you go after you have busted off 31 flies in two hours.

    BARB - A woman you dated in college that you were thinking about when you missed the umpteenth strike of the day.

    BASS - Trash fish sought by guys in floating Pontiac Firebirds.

    BASSHOLES - Guys who fish for bass.

    CAST - What you wear on your leg or arm after you've fallen on the slimy boulders at the bottom on the stream.

    CATCH AND RELEASE - What game wardens do to you when you have 61 fish in your cooler and the limit is 5.

    CREEL - An empty wicker basket.

    CUTTHROAT TROUT - Aren't they all?

    DEER HAIR - Fly-tying material available from deer barber.

    DENSITY - The average intelligence level of a bait fisherman.

    DRAG - How they look for drowned fishermen.

    DRAG-FREE DRIFT - A stream where there are no transvestites present.

    DREDGING - See Trolling.

    DRESS - What the transvestites wear at streamside.

    DRY FLY - Theoretical concept not yet perfected, like the Strategic Defense Initiative.

    EMERGER - A fly fisherman after a fall.

    FINGERING - A fully grown brook trout.

    FLOATANT - Lead in a liquid state.

    FLY - An inaccessible vent in your trousers covered up by several layers of clothing and chest waders that you can't get to in time.

    FLY TYING - Number one hobby in mental health facilities.

    HACKLE - More expensive than sable per square inch.

    HOOK - Sales pitch expression used in conjustion with the words "line" and "sinker" by high-priced fly-fishing outfitters after selling a piece of graphite for $500.
    ~ Jack Ohman

If you like Jack's fly fishing humor, be sure to look for his new book, GET THE NET! published by Willow Creek.

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