Lighter Side
What is life if there is not laughter? Welcome to the lighter side of flyfishing! We welcome your humorous stories here!
October 11th, 1999

Yuffies, Hippies, Geezers and Worm Drowners

by JackOhman
From Fear of Fly Fishing
We really sincerely thank Jack Ohman for use permission.

NAME: Orvis Bodmer Thomas
OCCUPATION: Geezer
RESIDENCE: Hidden Valley Ranch, Antelope, Oregon, (formerly Rajneesh, Oregon)
AGE: 77 ("Hell, I can remember when christ was a corporal.")
QUOTE: "Get the hell outta my drift, you yuppie son of a bitch, or I'll put a crease in your noodle."

Orv has been fishing the same stretch of the Deschutes for 45 years, and doesn't like it when the investment bankers and lawyers from Portland and Seattle come down in their blazers and Eddie Bauer Broncos and splash into the river and jangle up the dry-fly water with lousy casts. "A guy gets a subscription to Fly Fisherman, and all of a sudden he's in my hole slinging around the wrong patterns and leaving white wine bottles all over the goddam bank."

Orv doesn't go in for fancy equipment, either, "I gotta Shakespeare glass Wonderod and a Pflueger Medalist I bought in 1951, and the fish don't seem to give a squat."

Orv on streamside etiquette: "I'll streamside etiquette you, Now get the hell outta here before I go back to the house and get my Browning Over and Under."

Orv on his fly patterns: "I wouldn't tell you my patterns for all the tea in China, buster, so why don't you hightail it back to Seattle and put your yellow tie back on." ~ Jack Ohman

If you like Jack's fly fishing humor, be sure to look for his new book, GET THE NET! published by Willow Creek.

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