The truth is, fish have very little sex life. If you have ever
tried to make love under water, you will know why.
--- Ed Zern
July 27th, 1998
|
Best By Test
By Ed Zern, excerpt from HOW TO CATCH FISHERMEN
Probaby out of print, check your used-booker sellers!
Sitting around in the Antrim Lodge bar one evening
Jack Rowles and I were appalled at the number of strange fishermen milling
about, and we decided to draw up a written examination for Beaverkill
anglers. Our idea was that after grading the papers it would then be
possible to sort out the realy serious fishermen from the canasta
players and the guys who were simply on the lam from their wives
and were going around disguised in waders. By the time Frank started
closing up for the night we had several dozen pertinent questions, of
which I recall only a relatively uncomplicated one. It was a field
problem, and it went like this:
You are standing, rod in hand, at the head of
Cairn's Pool on the Route 17 side, when simultaneously (A) a case
of bonded bourbon whisky bounces off a passing truck and lands
undamaged in the middle of the highway, where the next passing
motorist is sure to see it and pick it up, (B) at the lower end of the
pool a beautiful and shapely blonde who has been swimming starts
shrieking that she has lost her bathing suit and urges you to hurry down
and restore here circulation by any means you choose, as she is getting
chilly, (C) across the river a barefoot boy gets his foot caught in a switch
on the Delaware, New York and Ontario Western tracks and hollers for
you to cross over and pry him loose before the Binghamton Express, which
is due in three minutes, comes around the bend and (D) a brown trout of
at least four pounds begins to feed greedily on large mayflies within easy
casting distance, and is obviously a cinch for a #10 Light Cahill. In one
sentence, state what you would do.
I don't intend to tip our mitt on this because some
day we might want to use it in another examination. But it might help
to bear in mind that four-pound trout in the Beaverkill are a lot harder
to come by than bourbon, blondes or barefoot boys.
~ Ed Zern
Copyright © 1951 by Ed Zern
You Might Be A Fly Fisherman If . . .|
River Home Part 1 |
River Home Part 2 |
Creative Counting|
|
|