A new jockey starts work at a new stables and is
about to compete in his first race. The owner of
the horse comes to him and says he has a great
ride and should win:
"All you have to do is this. As you're coming to a
fence say, '5 4 3 2 1 JUMP,'"
The race starts and the jockey thinks to himself, "I'm
a professional jockey and I'm not gonna be told how to
ride a horse," so he says nothing.
The first fence comes and the horse puts his head down
and crashes straight through it losing about ten lengths.
The second fence approaches and still, the jockey says
nothing. Sure enough, the horse puts his head down and
crashes through the fence again.
At this point, he's twenty lengths behind and thinks to
himself, "If I don't get a result here it it could be
As the third fence comes up, his mind racing, he thinks,
"I've nothing to lose. Here goes...'5 4 3 2 1 JUMP!'
And would you believe it? The horse glides over the fence.
He does this at every fence each time making distance
up and by the end of the race wins by four lengths.
Back at the weigh in the owner says to the jockey, "Well
done lad, you won but what the bloody hell went wrong at
the first two fences?"
The jockey, trying to cover up his mistake, replies,
"Well I did all that 5 4 3 2 1 jump stuff but he never
"Well, shucks!" the owner exclaims, "I knew he was blind,
but I didn't knew he was deaf as well!"
Lighter Side Archive