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| September 13th, 2004 | |||
The Truth About Diets
This 85-year-old couple, having been married
almost 60 years, die tragically in a car crash.
They have been in good health the last ten years,
mainly due to the wife's nearly neurotic interest
in health food.
When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took
them to their mansion, which was decked out with a
beautiful kitchen and master bath suite, complete
with Jacuzzi. As they "oohed and aahed' the old man
asked St. Peter how much all this was going to cost.
"It's free," St. Peter replied, "Remember, this is
Heaven."
Next they went out back to see the championship golf
course the home backed up to. They would have golfing
privileges every day, and each week the course changed
to a new one representing the great golf courses on
Earth.
The old man asked, "What are the green fees?"
"This is Heaven," St. Peter replied. "You play for free."
Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish
buffet lunch with the cuisines of the world laid out.
"How much to eat?" asked the old man.
"Don't you understand yet?" St. Peter asked. "This is
Heaven. It's free!"
"Well, where are the low-fat and low-cholesterol
foods?" the old man asked timidly.
"That's the best part...you can eat as much as you
like of whatever you like and never get fat and you
never get sick. This is Heaven."
The old man looked at his wife and said, "You and
your #@!%&~bran muffins. I could have been here ten
years ago!"
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