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Welcome to the lighter side of flyfishing! We welcome your stories here!
June 16th, 2003
The Compleat Angler (revised)
All manner of thynges have chaynged in the
pursuit of and anglinge for Troute. I visited
upon an Avon seemingly teeming withe the Troute
in question, and was well outfitted with the
newest and most advanced Rods, Reels, and Flyes.
By Jack Ohman
Well I knew the Anguished Cryes and consternatione
of the angler who equipmente had fayled. I am accustomed
to Cane and symplest of lyne, so I stoode in the Brooke
to field teste the new equuipment. At once I spyed a
risynge Troute and was sore tempted to toss a Garden
hackle or Earth Worme at the fysh, yet well I recalled
the Admonitiones and Warnynge of Purists who do not
of necessity neede to catch the Troute. So Goode
Sporte that I indeed be, I put asyde the thoughts
of the Meat angler and tyed on the most meagre of
flyes (size 22 creame midge) and gossamer leader.
Instantly the Troute rose and I importuned him to accept
my Tiny insecte. No Luck as Suche, so I tyed on another
and another, until I was able to determine that the
Troute in question was a Selective One. One That Won't
byte come Helle or Highe Water.
I attempted to execute Rolle Castes and Slyngeshot
deliveries of My Forwarde weightede lyne. The Troute
rolled and Boilled as if to mocke my Fruitless efforts.
More and more pyssed off I became as I maniacally
replaced minature terrestrials and teeny nymphs and
Gaudy attractors and still the risynge Troute slapped
Maerrily on the surface.
I tryed six weights and five weights and even a laughable
four weightede rod and lyne and so on. The Troute knew
not my Brande Names and Boron Rod and power Butt and
engrayved reele, and scarce I coulde place blame on him.
"Screw you," I mused as a ripost to the Taunts and
mockingyne Behaviour of the Troute and I heav'd the
Winston rod and the Hardie reele and the Scientifik
angler lyne far into the Brooke. I wente scavenging
in the mud for a Large worme and tyed it on to my Olde
Cane Pole and tossed it in the Vicinity of the Troute,
who tooke it Hooke, lyne and synkere.
So I reeled in the God Damned Troute and consumed it
on the banke of the Brooke and To Helle with the
delicate Presentatione. ~ Jack Ohman
Credit: This is an excerpt from Fear of Fly Fishing
by Jack Ohman, published by Willow Creek.
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