· Baetis - Something a catfisherman puts on his hookus.
Here's a Latin lesson for you. Add an "is" or "us" to the end
of a word and you've got the Latin equivalent.
· Callibaetis - A concoction I dreamed up by adding calamine
lotion to my catfish baetis. It didn't catch any fish, but it did
a dandy job on poison ivy.
· Hackle - Something that gets raised on my wife every
time I tell her I need a new fly rod. This term is usually
associated with "dog house" and "alimony."
· Free Drift - The mode my mind is in when my wife is
discussing my need for that new fly rod. It's also a common
mental mode for any other unpleasant subject she wants to
discuss with me.
· Drag - A term I use to describe life without a new fly rod.
· Dry Fly - That new fly you purchased before it hits the water.
· Wet Fly - That same fly moments after it hits the water.
· Fly Line - A story you're going to hear about your
buddy's fishing trip to Montana. For more information on
this subject, see "falsehood" and "bald faced lie."
· Fly Line Conditioner - The words you use to lead up
to the story about your fishing trip to Montana. This is a
very important phase of telling a fly line. If you omit it,
no one will believe a word you say. They probably won't
elieve you anyway, but we all have to try, don't we?
· Leader - The best liar in your group. This guy
has great potential as a writer for fishing and hunting
magazines.
· Tippet - Something your buddy always does when you
take him fishing in your canoe. Why do you think they
invented river boats?
· Backing - Something you hope your fishing buddies
will give you when you're telling one of your bigger fly lines.
· Nail Knot - One of the many creative knots you can
accomplish by allowing your back cast to get too low on a
windy day. Some other knots in this category are 'twig knots,'
'bush knots' and the very dangerous 'rattlesnake noose knot.'
· Blood knot - What you get on the back of your head
when you execute a forward cast with a nail knot in your line.
· Surgeon's Knot - Otherwise known as stitches. A
common treatment for a severe blood knot.
· Strike Indicator - That annoying guy you took fishing
that was always yelling, "You got a hit, set the hook."
· Waders - A piece of clothing you slip onto the lower
half of your body that's always two inches shorter that the
water you're going to wade. Other items in this category
are sea anchors and concrete boots.
· Wading Staff - The large group of people needed to
haul you out of the water after you venture in over your
waders. Some of the more affluent fly fishers keep a paid
wading staff on hand at all times.
· Royal Wulff - Something I've been known to do to a
hamburger after a long day of fishing.
· Stomach Pump - Some medical attention I had to get
after eating at Taco Tim's the last time I went fishing on
the Big River.
· Snake Guide - That shifty eyed guy you hired to show
you where the fish are. They call him snake for a reason.
Good thing your wallet had a chain on it.
· Stripper Guide - Hey, we all have to make a living
during the off season. Some people are better adapted to
this line of work than others.
· Reel Seat - The one item of comfort you're looking
for after a long day wading the river. Generally a lot more
comfortable than the ant hill you sat on when you emptied
the water out of your waders.
· Float tube - That container of suntan lotion you
just dropped in the river. It's the only thing you can drop
that won't sink out of sight in an instant. Instead, it
drifts away to be picked up by the game warden who'll ticket
you for littering. This usually results in the loss of your
fishing privileges for a year or two. Now you know why fly
fishermen usually allow themselves to get cooked redder than
a lobster rather than risk float tubing.
· Fly Vise - A common mis-spelling of a term used to
describe our addiction to fly fishing. Related habits might
include smoking, drinking and telling fly lines.
· Spinner - Another name for the teller of fly lines.
If I had gone any further, you could say I was a spinner
of lines. Some of you are probably saying that anyway.
· Dun - Something you are when you finish all you
planned to accomplish. That's exactly what I am at this moment, dun.
~ Al Campbell
