"Waders"
By Alan Pratt
From Pardon My Backcast
Published by Frank Amato Publications, Inc.
"I know of but few fishers, no matter how accomplished, who
can walk on water easily. Most of us must cope with water, a
necessary component of most streams and ponds, by the use of
hip boots or chest waders, unless we elect to fish wet and get
chilled and end the day with prune-like calves.
Hip boots have their shortcomings, at around 3 feet.
Chest-high waders, on the other hand, can get you into deep water, often
deeper than planned. They are also splendid for retaining perspiration.
Sometimes waders come from the factory already leaking, but
most can be relied upon to repel water until immersed for the first
time, or when subjected to such threatening objects as barbed wire,
beaver-sharpened twigs, or even irate beavers.
A leak usually is heralded by a sensation of dampness on the
wearer's leg or a squishiness about the toes. Locating the source
of the leak can be difficult, especially if it is only pin-hole sized.
One procedure is to fill the waders with water (first removing
the angler) to which has been added food-coloring dye, seltzer,
or marshmallow syrup, which will appear either as colorful, bubbly,
or sticky evidence at the point of leakage. Most common leaks
can be repaired by use of a common leak-repair kit, available
at most any reputable leak-repair-kit store.
Temporarily, a leak can be patched using electrician's
tape, pitch, goombah or when available, POOT, (Poltroon's
Original Oat Treat, Milford Poltroon's much-loved,
stick-to-your ribs breakfast dish.) Some leaks, especially
those devilish ones around crotch seams, will defy repair in
spite of your best attentions. Waders that survive beyond
a single season prove only that you are not fishing enough.
Today's chest waders are mostly manufactured in foreign
lands, and foreign people are used as models to obtain size
measurements. Usually these people are inexpensive small
children or sumo wrestlers. Thus we are beset with S, M,
L, and XL sizes all with size-5 feet and crotches in
decidedly un-American locations.
Waders do not come equipped with zippers. If you
or any of your friends or relatives have a workable
solution to this problem, by all means."
~ Alan Pratt
