Hi Rainbowchaser,
I hate to disillusion you, but the fact that you post on this site may be a strong indicator that you are already off the deep end, and it may be too late.
Still, at least you are not so far gone that you no longer recognize that there may be symptoms. Some of us are so far gone that we no longer even realize that we are seriously unbalanced.
So a friendly word of advise.....I fear that the vast majority of us who regularly read this site and post here have long ago gone off the deep end. It's too late for many of us......We may all need serious psychological help, but it may not be too late for you. However, if you tie your own flies and build your own rods.........well.........
You have heard the statement about the inmates running the asylum........
On the other hand, what a way to go!
Regards,
Gandolf