We both have honey-do lists....mine includes the typical maintenance and repair (fix the squeeky door, repaint a bathroom, etc.) stuff around the house and hers includes the housekeeping "extras" (once a year carpet steam cleaning for instance). At the top of her list is "Encourage him to go fly fishing today"....at the top of mine is "Encourage her to play more tennis". We both attend the other's activity related events - I to tennis tournaments (I don't play tennis period). she to Club banquets, accompany me to the San Juan (she doesn't fish period), etc..

In other words, a good aharing relationship does not need artificial means of gaining freedom to do one's own thing. All that is necessary is a huge amount of love and trust on both sides.

Works for me!

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Snow on the roof with fire in the hearth