We need some laughs here !!!

[Buddy Sanders]

the potty

a little three year old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what's up. The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a book. But about every 15 seconds or so, he puts the book down, grips onto the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on top of his head with his right hand.

his mother says: "billy, are you all right? You've been in here for a while."

billy says: "i'm fine, mommy. I just haven't gone potty' yet."

mother says: "ok, you can stay here a few more minutes, but, billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?"

billy says: "works for ketchup."

[AlanB]

A Regimental Sargent Major, in full Highland dress, marches smartly into a pharmacists. The pharmacist says "Can I help you?" The RSM opens his sporran, takes out a folded piece of cardboard, places it on the counter and unfolds it. Inside is a piece of silk. He unfolds this to reveal a very worn and much repaired condom. Then he asks the pharmacist, "How much to repair it?" "One penny." says the pharmacist. "How much for a new one?" asks the RSM. "Three pence." the pharmacist replies. The RSM folds the condom away, replaces it in his sporran and marches out. The pharmacist hears a lot of shouting and the RSM returns, saying, "The lads have put it to the vote, the regiment will have a new one."
Cheers,
A.

[Uncle Jesse]

What is Celibacy?

Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.

While attending a Marriage Weekend, Frank and his wife Ann listened to the instructor declare, It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.

He then addressed the men. Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?

Frank leaned over, touched Ann's arm gently, and whispered, Pillsbury Gold Medal-All-Purpose, Isn't it?

And thus began Frank's life of celibacy.

[maodiver]

Women always say that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting
kicked in the pills.

Here is proof that they are wrong.

A year or so after giving birth a woman will often say "it might be nice to
have another child".

You never hear a guy say " I would really like another kick in the pills."

Case closed.

[Uncle Jesse]

Turkey season started today in Georgia. Got out early and shot my first turkey. Scared the crap out of everyone in the frozen food section of Kroger.

[Gigmaster]

Was that you????

Turkey season started today in Georgia. Got out early and shot my first turkey. Scared the crap out of everyone in the frozen food section of Kroger.

[EdD]

What's worse is that he HAD to pick the Alpharetta Kroger's when they happened to be filming for "Good Eats". If they aren't carefully with the editing, you might be able to decide for yourself whether or not Alton Brown is/was "full of it".
I just wander if Uncle Jesse is gonna use all of the biots...

Ed

[ducksterman]

- I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam and we’re stoning her in the morning!

[Gigmaster]

Y'all need to be careful on the internet, now. There is a new computer virus going around. This is a very bad virus. Just look at what it did to my mouse.......

mousevirus.jpg

[Uncle Jesse]

- I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam and we’re stoning her in the morning!

But in Oregon doesn't stoning mean sitting around smoking weed?