What should I do?

[Mike Murgida]

Well I have a bit of a problem. The situation is the following: My favorite tier is visiting the USA for the last time. He just so happens to be tying at a well known fly tier's house not too far from me. Over the past few years I have ordered quite a bit of stuff from this other well known tier and have expressed a great interest in the this other [foreign] tier. At one point I even talked to this person about my favorite tier (whom he is good friends with) coming to the USA. He said that although the chances are slim, he was trying to get him to come back and do a workshop at least one more time. At that time he supposedly put me on a "list" to take a class with my favorite tier. He assured me he would contact me if he was successful in getting my favorite tier to come to the USA. Now, after about a year, I find out that my favorite tier will be in the USA at a show (which is far away from me). I then contact the other well known tier who lives not too far from me and ask if my favorite tier will give a workshop at his house. I received a response stating that he will be giving a workshop but in fact it is already full. He seems to have forgotten about when we talked about if this were to happen and the "list." Is it wrong to now remind him about this? I am not sure what will happen if I do and I would not want anything bad to happen as I always buy materials from him.
Sorry for the long post and I hope this makes sense!

[J Castwell]

You know the answer.
You were allowed potential attendance to a social fly-tying event. As it is now scheduled you have either been forgotten, actually denied inclusion or the group was formed by the incoming tier. In any case, you are not included. As you seem to not be willing to accept this fact, be sure to follow through all of the ramifications of any actions you are considering.

[Gnu Bee Flyer]

Mike, You buy supplies from him which makes you a customer. Is the guy so shallow that he would retaliate in some way? If so I'd change my favorite tier/supplier in a heartbeat.
Give him the benefit of the doubt and tell him you thought you were on the short list and could anything be done to squeeze you in. He may have just forgotten, at least you would know.

I don't have all the facts obviously. I think JC is probably right on the money with his comment.

[DShock]

Don't drive yourself crazy! Be DIRECT and solve the mystery.
Doug

[Gringo]

Exactly. Do it! He will be fine, if not, you are dealing with the wrong guy I reckon.

[WarrenP]

You state that you purchase material and flies from the tier who lives close to you. This tier was suppose to put you on the class list and either forgot to or did not for some other reason. The way I see it you have 2 ways to respond to this:

1. If you wish to continue to have access to the materials and flies from the tier that lives close to you then I would confront this person and remind him that since he had forgotten to put you on the class list and the class was going to be at his home, could you at least stop in and just watch and observe the class. You may not be taking a lesson, but, you could take notes and learn a lot from observing. You could offer to bring some snacks/drinks for the class also. This would let the tier down the road from you know that you are hurt that you were left out, but, man enough to not "blow up" at him but to offer a solution that would be agreeable to you.

2. If you have another source for the material and flies which you purchase from the tier down the road and do not care if you two have a "falling out", then you could just let the tier down the road know exactly how you feel and tell them that you will no longer do business with them. If you do this, you will no longer have access to their flies and material and probably no longer have a good fly tier "friend" who lives close to your home.

If you choose #1 you will still have a good fly tier who lives close to your home where you can continue to purchase flies and material from. They may not be as good of a "friend" as you thought, but, you will now know this and still have access to their supplies and still be speaking to each other.

There was a time in my life that if this had happened to me I would have lost control and let this person know exactly how I felt and broke ties with them even if it meant that I would have to purchase my future supplies from a catalog. I have now learned to not expect others to treat me like I would treat them and to just let things happen and continue on with my life and try and get along with everyone but to expect nothing in return from them. That is why I have been accused of being a loner, but, I can trust myself and I can sleep at night and continue to set the example and be at peace.

The above are only my opinions and nothing more.

I wonder if this is how Ann Landers got started?

[ohiotuber]

Mike,
You knew I would jump in here. I know exactly who is involved, & I agree with Warren's #1 advice. Call him....I believe my Saturdays are fairly free the next few weeks. If that's the day, call me & I'll take you up.
Mike

[Mike Murgida]

Thanks for the input everybody...

[mantis]

Hi Mike, I may be wrong but I am guessing since it has been a year and at that time nothing was "for sure" I think you may have been simply forgotten. If on the other hand, during this past year you kept ordering material and reminding him about it...
I have a feeling it is just a slip up. I am also guessing this is CH and OE and if it is call and see if after explaining the situation you could be squeezed in. I am pretty sure if these are the people involved this is certainly not OE's last visit. If these are not the people, you should still call. If they are the people, my tying buddies who are riding out to the show with me are stopping at CH's house with OE Sunday night on our way back from the show. Perhaps you could at least see if it would be okay if you for you to come over and meet him then. It could be late unless we cut out a little early.
Sorry if I am way off base here, just trying to be helpful but from what you described it would be almost too much of a coincidence not to be....and these are both very nice guys....Bob
PS Didn't notice until after posting that you got an offer to ride up to the show. And since I know what show he is going to, I think I guessed right.. See you there...Bob

[Mike Murgida]

Yes, those are the two people involved. CH said that the class was already over booked by two people. Also, Ohiotuber's generous offer was to go to CH's house and not the show (which is 7 hours away), but unfortunately the class will not take place at CH's house on a Saturday. As far as OE not returning to the USA, CH told me the chances he would are very slim to none at all.