+ Reply to Thread
Page 169 of 202 FirstFirst ... 69119159167168169170171179 ... LastLast
Results 1,681 to 1,690 of 2018

Thread: We need some laughs here !!!

  1. #1681
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Shallotte, NC - USA
    Posts
    778

    Default

    A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned back to camp alone, staggering under the weight of an eight point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked. The successful hunter replied - "Henry had a stroke o' some kind. He's back up the trail a couple of miles". "You mean you left Henry a layin' out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired. "A tough call" nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one's gonna steal Henry!"

  2. #1682

    Default

    Texting for Seniors--


    BFF - Best Friend Fell

    BTW - Bring the Wheelchair

    TTYL - Talk to you Louder

    BYOT - Bring Your Own teeth

    LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out

    FWIW - Forgot Where I Was

    IMHAO - Is My Hearing Aid On?

    OMMR - On My Massage Recliner

    ROFLACGU - Rolling On the Floor Laughing and Can't Get Up

  3. #1683
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Shallotte, NC - USA
    Posts
    778

    Default

    The Pilot and the Priest


    A priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket and jeans.


    Saint Peter addresses this cool guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"


    The guy replies, "I'm Jack, retired airline pilot from Houston."


    Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the pilot, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom." The pilot goes into Heaven with his robe and staff.


    Next, it's the priest's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Father Bob, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last 43 years."


    Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the priest, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom."


    "Just a minute," says the good father. "That man was a pilot and he gets a silken robe and golden staff and I get only cotton and wood. How can this be?"


    "Up here - we go by results," says Saint Peter. "When you preached - people slept. When he flew, people prayed."

  4. #1684
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    NE Gwinnett Co., GA
    Posts
    5,946

    Default

    This is an old joke down South, but I thought some of our Western and Northern friends might not be as familiar with it.

    In a small Southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left.

    At a "Quick Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You damn Yankees never do read the Bible!" I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible. She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said
    "See, it says right here, 'The three wise man came from afar.'"
    Want to hear God laugh? Tell him Your plans!!!

  5. #1685
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Winter Garden, FL
    Posts
    871

    Default

    Jesse,
    Isn't it good to have the freedom to make fun of ourselves. As a native Mississippian I can appreciate this one.
    God Bless America

  6. #1686
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    port charlotte,fl usa
    Posts
    784

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jcampbell View Post
    Jesse,
    Isn't it good to have the freedom to make fun of ourselves. As a native Mississippian I can appreciate this one.
    Well now that Christians have had their jihad to send one of the burning Bush's to the afterlife like those 9/11 terrorists hijackers with a patriot act......

  7. #1687
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Winter Garden, FL
    Posts
    871

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by saltydancindave View Post
    Well now that Christians have had their jihad to send one of the burning Bush's to the afterlife like those 9/11 terrorists hijackers with a patriot act......
    What??? Don't follow you on that one. No laughs here.
    God Bless America

  8. #1688
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Lake In The Hills. IL USA
    Posts
    4,010

    Default

    It’s a medication issue. What kind of a NUTcase, regardless what the hell was meant, would think THAT was an appropriate comment to post herein at this time ?
    Mark
    Last edited by Marco; 12-07-2018 at 09:16 PM.

  9. #1689
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Winter Garden, FL
    Posts
    871

    Default

    Marco,
    I hope you meant inappropriate comment, which it certainly was! I don't know the guy who posted that, but I can only hope it was a medication issue. Very poor taste!!
    God Bless America

  10. #1690
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    ,Yosemite region
    Posts
    2,741

    Default

    So what do you call a gang of us electricians ??

    Wirenuts.
    Last edited by Steve Molcsan; 12-08-2018 at 02:50 AM.
    Relaxed and now a Full Time Trout Bum, Est. 2024

+ Reply to Thread

Similar Threads

  1. We need some laughs here
    By oldster in forum Sound Off
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 04-07-2022, 01:07 AM
  2. we need some laughs here
    By oldster in forum Sound Off
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 01-27-2021, 03:32 AM
  3. Just for laughs
    By TyroneFly in forum Sound Off
    Replies: 61
    Last Post: 09-05-2007, 05:59 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts