We need some laughs here !!!

[Allan]

So it sounds (or perhaps appears) that the women facing out had only one titty apiece?

[jimsnarocks]

Budd, The lone ranger would be proud.

[Goduster]

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their
Tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, 'Kemo Sabe, look
Towards sky, what you see? '
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'The Lone Ranger replies, 'I see millions of stars.'
'What that tell you?' asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, 'Astronomically speaking,
It tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter
Past three in the morning.
Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What's it tell you, Tonto?'
"You dumber than buffalo ****. It means someone stole the tent."

[Uncle Jesse]

A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me. . . They must be Gods!

A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me. . . I must be a God!

[MSD53X]

SO !!!! TRUE !!! Uncle Jessie LOL LOL

[Uncle Jesse]

SO !!!! TRUE !!! Uncle Jessie LOL LOL

Dogs have owners, cats have staff.

[Uncle Jesse]

Pete decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend.

One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning his fly line. His wife was standing there watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks. "Honey, I've been thinking, now that we are married I think it's time you quit fishing. Maybe you should sell your fishing rods.”

Pete gets this horrified look on his face.

She says, "Darling, what's wrong?"

”There for a minute you were sounding like my ex-wife.”

"Ex wife!" she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!"

”I wasn't!“

[Prairieschooner]

A woman asked her husband what he wanted for this 40th birthday. He said, "I want something that goes over 200 in 5 seconds or less!" So she bought him a set of bathroom scales.

[jimsnarocks]

Since I had eye surgery in May my friend thought I'd enjoy this story. I did and will share it with y'all. Jim

Painters Eye


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There was this world famous painter. In the prime of her career, she started losing her eyesight. Fearful that she might lose her life as a painter, she went to see the best eye surgeon in the world.

After several weeks of delicate surgery and therapy, her eyesight was restored. The painter was so grateful that she decided to show her gratitude by repainting the doctor's office.

Part of her work included painting a gigantic eye on one wall. When she had finished her work, she held a press conference to unveil her latest work of art: the doctor's office.

During the press conference, one reporter noticed the eye on the wall, and asked the doctor, "What was your first reaction upon seeing your newly painted office, especially that large eye on the wall?"

To this, the eye doctor responded, "I said to myself 'Thank God I'm not a proctologist.'"

[TomS]

Jim.
That is Hilarious!
LOL!!!