We need some laughs here !!!

[gmac209]

Canada - January 2011


It's winter in Canada
And the gentle breezes blow,
70 miles per hour at 52 below!
Oh, how I love Canada
When the snow's up to your butt;
You take a breath of winter air
And your nose is frozen shut.
Yes, the weather here is wonderful,
You may think I'm a fool.
I could never leave Canada ,
Cause I'm frozen to the stool.



stuckon winter.jpg

[Old #art]

JOKE OF THE CENTURY


Two women were sitting quietly together, minding their own business

I"m duciking already. I'm ducking.

[Uncle Jesse]

JOKE OF THE CENTURY Two women were sitting quietly together, minding their own business

I"m duciking already. I'm ducking.[/I]

Stay out of the Swamp

[EdD]

JOKE OF THE CENTURY


Two women were sitting quietly together, minding their own business

I"m duciking already. I'm ducking.

In a related note, there is some scorched CDC available in the For Sale area...
(Ducking indeed...)


Ed

[Uncle Jesse]

In a related note, there is some scorched CDC available in the For Sale area...
(Ducking indeed...) Ed

It would hurt to have your CDC scorched! Ouch!!!!!!

[Uncle Jesse]

LESSER KNOWN EQUIVALENT MEASUREMENTS

Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi

2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton

1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement:1 bananosecond

Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong

365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling: 1 lite year

16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling

Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon

1000 aches: 1 megahurtz

Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower

Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line (think about it for a moment)

453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake

1 million-million microphones: 1 megaphone

1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles

365.25 days: 1 unicycle

2000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds (work on it....)

10 cards: 1 decacards

1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton

1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen

1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche

1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin

10 rations: 1 decoration

100 rations: 1 C-ration

2 monograms: 1 diagram

8 nickels: 2 paradigms

2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League

100 Senators: Not 1 decision

[maodiver]

So who's up for the big pie-in? I am thinking a bring your own pie potluck on March 14, 2015, beginning at 9:26AM. Anyone interested?








A little Pi is the least we could do on 3.14.15 9:26.....

[Uncle Jesse]

WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK...

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of lettuce
A 2 lb. can of coffee
A 1 lb. package of bacon

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'

I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I indeed had never found Mr. Right. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status..

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said, 'Yes you are correct. But how on earth did you know that?'

The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly.

[Betty Hiner]

Just sayin' ....

[maodiver]

Get 'em Betty!! Let thy cackle be the last sound they hear.