Update on the local youngster that committed suicide

[nighthawk]

This is from station WKOK 100.9 The Valley. It is about the 14 year old young man that committed suicide on route 11&15 just north of our home the other day:

"Talk continues to focus on bullied teen

LIVERPOOL ? Funeral services are now set for the Midd-West student who cited bullying as the reason for his suicide Friday. 14-year-old Brandon Bitner died when police say he deliberately stepped in front of a truck Friday. A suicide note listed ongoing ridicule as a reason for his action.
Services include a visitation Tuesday evening and a Wednesday morning funeral, at the Garman Funeral Home in Liverpool. The family is requesting donations to the Susquehanna University Youth Orchestra, in lieu of flowers.
The R.I.P. Brandon Bitner Facebook page has had over 1,200 responses. Most discussions on that page focus on frustration over unchecked bullying. There are also several fundraising efforts in honor of the Midd-West teen."

All of us dealt with bullies when we were in school. How has this bully stuff gotten so out of hand? Of course when I was in school being a bully got you paddled, suspended, parents called in and sometimes even the police. I even knew some kids that were expelled for bullying.

Have we forgotten how t o talk to our children? Have we forgotten to teach them how to defend themselves and that it is OK to do so? Why do we let the lawsuit happy types take all of the discipline out of our school systems knowing what the end result will be? Why are we not teaching our children self respect, self discipline and what to do in these situations?

This is so sad because this child along with many others of our kids do not need to die. This was probably totally avoidable. There is a dark cloud hanging around the local communities today. The Bitner family, the truck driver, police, firemen and Paramedics that responded are going to need a lot of support. I am here for them.

[rainbowchaser]

I think that one thing that has changed is the twenty-four hour a day bullying via social media. If kids were being bullied in the past they could avoid their tormentors for the most part. As a small four eyed bookworm I found that a testicdular massage with a 9.5 EEE was good for making them avoid me but these days you would be thrown out of school for that. I think that cruelty to those who are outside the group (who's dynamics can change rapidly) has always been part of adolescence. If we look back and are honest we all participated in it at times and most of us were bullied at some time. What has changed is the ability of the few who really enjoyed it to carry it on without respite so that it reaches victims even in their own homes or when with their friends who would act as a support system in the old days. We need to look carefully at the line between free speech and verbal assault in a high speed wired environment. Of course the other part of the problem is that adolescents are extremely reluctant to seek help from an adult in social matters. The idea of your mother coming to the school to complain about your being bullied seems worse than anything they can say and will certainly make matters worse if the school doesn't take effefctive action. I hate to suggest tattling but I think in extreme cases of bullying the best hope is for other young people to realize that it has gone to far and report it to a teacher or parent. Achieving that may require some training which could be incorporated in the social studies/health classes

[Joel D. Popham]

Eric,
This is indeed a sad ending to this young life. Prayers continue. Best Regards....

[maodiver]

I think that one thing that has changed is the twenty-four hour a day bullying via social media. If kids were being bullied in the past they could avoid their tormentors for the most part. As a small four eyed bookworm I found that a testicdular massage with a 9.5 EEE was good for making them avoid me but these days you would be thrown out of school for that. I think that cruelty to those who are outside the group (who's dynamics can change rapidly) has always been part of adolescence. If we look back and are honest we all participated in it at times and most of us were bullied at some time. What has changed is the ability of the few who really enjoyed it to carry it on without respite so that it reaches victims even in their own homes or when with their friends who would act as a support system in the old days. We need to look carefully at the line between free speech and verbal assault in a high speed wired environment. Of course the other part of the problem is that adolescents are extremely reluctant to seek help from an adult in social matters. The idea of your mother coming to the school to complain about your being bullied seems worse than anything they can say and will certainly make matters worse if the school doesn't take effefctive action. I hate to suggest tattling but I think in extreme cases of bullying the best hope is for other young people to realize that it has gone to far and report it to a teacher or parent. Achieving that may require some training which could be incorporated in the social studies/health classes

That, and parenting has changed a lot in the fact that a lot of parents nowadays consider parenting second to being friends with their kids. I never considered my dad my friend, until I got to be about 35. I don't treat my son or daughter as if they were my friend...they are my kids, which is different, but no less important.

[GrayGhost]

this subject hit me in the heart because I understand it to well, due to mistreatment teasing and bulling from starting just about the first grade I had a full blown stomic ulcer by the time I was 11 years of age, but one thing I was taught by my Grandmother is you dont give up or in it one thing I thank her every day for teaching me, it has served me well my whole life
GrayGhost

[Kerry Stratton]

Sad that a young life was lost in that manner.

There are problems with the way things are handled today. My son was kicked out of school for stepping in when an older boy was tormenting a younger one on his school bus. He ended up punching the older boy and that is what got him suspended which I don't necessarily disagree with. I don't encourage my kids to use violence but this was a little different as the older boy had already engaged in some minor physical abuse of the younger child and was warned by my son to stop. When he didn't stop my boy stopped him, you could say. The thing that was really disturbing about the incident was the school's reaction. They called me in to discuss it and asked what I planned to do to make sure my son didn't resort to punching other kids. I told the principal I didn't plan on doing anything and in fact was somewhat proud of my son for coming to the defense of someone that could not defend themselves. This is what he was taught to do. Perhaps he shouldn't have used violence but after talking to some other students on the bus it sounded as if he didn't have a lot of other options. Still the principal was rather put off by the fact that I was proud of what my son had done and wasn't planning any disciplinary actions. I did talk with him and made a point to him that using force is a last resort only but that I was glad he came to the aid of the younger boy. From what I learned the boy doing the bullying, did not receive any punishment. That?s a problem.

[swen]

Kerry, you should have asked the principle why nobody from the school (bus driver, etc) stepped in so you son wouldn't have to.

[nighthawk]

Sad that a young life was lost in that manner.

There are problems with the way things are handled today. My son was kicked out of school for stepping in when an older boy was tormenting a younger one on his school bus. He ended up punching the older boy and that is what got him suspended which I don't necessarily disagree with. I don't encourage my kids to use violence but this was a little different as the older boy had already engaged in some minor physical abuse of the younger child and was warned by my son to stop. When he didn't stop my boy stopped him, you could say. The thing that was really disturbing about the incident was the school's reaction. They called me in to discuss it and asked what I planned to do to make sure my son didn't resort to punching other kids. I told the principal I didn't plan on doing anything and in fact was somewhat proud of my son for coming to the defense of someone that could not defend themselves. This is what he was taught to do. Perhaps he shouldn't have used violence but after talking to some other students on the bus it sounded as if he didn't have a lot of other options. Still the principal was rather put off by the fact that I was proud of what my son had done and wasn't planning any disciplinary actions. I did talk with him and made a point to him that using force is a last resort only but that I was glad he came to the aid of the younger boy. From what I learned the boy doing the bullying, did not receive any punishment. That?s a problem.

If you get a chance please shake your son's hand for me and tell him I said thanks for being a real stand up guy. Kerry the apple don't fall far from the tree ya know.

[CharlaineC]

This subject for me is very down home. I remember when I was young I myself tried to kill myself because of daily bulling because of my size, my looks, my lack of brand name clothing, and most of all the fact that i was intelligent and proud of it. They found other reasons as to pick on and beat me. And up until high school it wasn't just students who picked on me Teachers bullied students as well. I don't remember the number of times i tried to stay home from school. I hated school for the most part because of the bullies, alot of my bullies lived in my neighborhood so the bulling didn't always stop after school ended. I was even kicked off the school bus because i was "causing" a disturbance by being bullied. My parents tried a number of times to get it to stop but it didn't teachers and administration blamed me for being different. told my parents to spend real money on me when it came to clothes and to stop babying me that the bulling was good for me. (wtf where they thinking) finally in Jr High school I just couldn't take it. and on three separate occasions I tried to commit suicide failing each time and looking back I am happy for that. It wasn't till we moved and I entered Highschool that the bulling all but stopped. Their where times I was bullied in highschool but nothing like before. For years I hated myself blamed myself for how the bullies treated me. But It was in highschool that I was able to realize that it was never ever my fault.

Schools, parents, teachers, are so afraid to step in and discipline any student or child for fear of child abuse allegations It is no wonder that this early form of terrorism has grown into the the menace it is now is. In order for this to stop parents must be allowed to properly discipline their children from the start. Most bullies of today, many will find show little to no respect for their parents or anyone in a place of authority.

[Byron Zuehlsdorff]

It is time for us as parents to stand to the school systems and say ENOUGH!!! Punish the bullies, not the defenders!!!!