Loss of our son, Dan
Considered not posting this on the board; but, thought it might help or comfort others in a similar situation. This is still fresh and painful; but, through the prayers, thoughts and kind gestures we received from so many people we're doing okay.
Three weeks ago today we lost our youngest son, Dan, after a long and sometimes painful illness that he bravely endured. He and my mom shared the same birthday and it was also our wedding anniversary; so, he was "special" as a birthday and anniversary gift to us many years ago.
Words are inadequate to express our appreciation for all the wonderful care and efforts extended during Dan's prolonged illness; especially during the last painful year that included the loss of his sight and memory problems. The folks from the Hospice Care center and the Home Health nurses were especially kind and caring and we could never thank them enough.
Near the end Dan came to accept the God that he was so angry with for so long. His daytime caregiver relayed to us that whenever he seemed distressed he would repeat the "Lord's Prayer", over and over, and she would say it with him. She also taught him a few religious songs and he sang some with her.
Unfortunately, we weren't there at the end due to circumstances and living in another state. We had been notified that Dan wasn't doing well and that we should make plans to go to his home. We spent the day packing and making preparations. I had a premonition that we should have gone the night before even if it meant driving after dark and arriving late. I will always regret not following through on it. Next morning, just as we were about to leave, we received a call notifying us that Dan had just passed away. We were terribly saddened; but, would have been shocked to have arrived and found his bed empty.
Later on his daytime caregiver relayed to us his final words, which have given us much comfort, and are the point of this posting. We would like to share them with you all.
She arrived early and shortly thereafter noticed that Dan was either having some trouble breathing or was trying to say something. As he hadn't been able to speak much above a whisper the last few days, she went to his bed, bent over, and asked Dan what was the matter.
She said he then replied in a clear strong voice, " I HAVE TO GO NOW." She told him that his mom and I were coming to see him that day and asked if he couldn't hold on just a bit longer till we got there. Dan again replied clearly, " I HAVE TO GO NOW - WITH THEM!"
She told him that God loved him, we loved him and she did too and that if he really had to go it was okay. She said he then slowly exhaled one last breath and peacfully left this troubled world forever.
We don't know, and never will for sure, who his "escorts" were at the end; but, would like to think that God sent his angels for Dan.
His uncle Jim, who died last November, told us to tell Dan that he would be waiting for him. My mom died last December and a brother-in-law this April. They may have been among his "escorts" too.
Whether one "believes" or has faith, there are some things that are left to us to ponder and question and maybe to restore us in times of trouble.
You may share Dan's final words with anyone you wish; especially, if they are concerned with or facing death and dying or need some comfort along the journey.
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